"i Always Thought I'd Look Back On Our Tears And Laugh, But I Never Thought I'd Look Back On Our Laughter And Cry."

I had a best friend- a true, hard core, until-the-end kind of best friend. Or so I thought, anyway. Late into our friendship I found out she had stolen from me, lied to me, etc... Needless to say, the friendship depleted. She quit school and I never saw her anymore. For some reason, recently, though, after about a year I've started having dreams about her. The first few I just brushed off, but they just kept happening. They were so damn vivid, too. I feel really dumb for missing her- how could I miss and want someone that did so wrong to me? I'm not the one for alla that mushy gushy "I miss you" stuff. Once someone ***** up their friendship with me, that's usually it. But this is just...different. I could be my comPLETE self around her, and I knew she would act even sillier. I told her everything, which was a big deal for me. We were never apart. Part of me thinks of all the quotes reminding me that there's a reason she's in my past and not in my future, but another, possibly stronger part of me, thinks of the quotes telling people to never give up on the things they want, or never quit on someone they think about everyday- you know the ones I'm talking about. I'm not sure what to do- what if the whole missing her thing is a fluke, just random hormones, and I can get over it? What if they're real? I just don't know. We're older and, hopefully, more mature. What if I talk to her and she's completely changed? What if she doesn't like who I am now? What if I don't like who she is anymore? So many emotions, so many thoughts, so many questions.... All I know is that right now, at this very instant, I miss my best friend and I've give anything to have her here right now.
igotatedbyagiraffe igotatedbyagiraffe
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 5, 2012

This is a big thing. This has happened to me. I had a best friend that we shared EVERYTHING with. We were friends for 4 years and we stopped being friends last year as of January... I'm sorry this is happening, but my mom always likes to tell me, that everything happens for a reason. If it ended, it means its not worth it. You could always write her a letter telling her your exact feelings. She could do two things. She could tell you how she really feels, or she could ignore you. I did that to my former best friend, and I never received an e-mail back. I'm not sure how you two were, how your personalities are, if this is the type of thing she'd do, but give it a shot and see what happens!! Best of luck to you :)