It's Time To Let Go... My Love.

I haven't been an active user of EP until I broke up with my ex, and that was almost 7 months ago (my first love). And I've gone through lots of emotional high and low... I've kept a blog of how I felt about the break up and I've logged my progress of how I coped with the losses...

Letting out all my feelings certainly helped, but I've spent wayyy too much time lingering on... and for now, I'm deleting my account, and this will be my last story -- one last time.

Through all this time,
I've hoped that maybe she would be reading my blog and understand my deepest feelings.
I've hoped that maybe somehow things would magically fix itself.
I've hoped and hoped...
I've waited... and waited...

It never happened. There was nothing. Slowly, I've given up. It's natural process really. It's part of my growing up. And indeed, I don't wish to have this hope anymore...

My love,

I have tried so hard to show you that I cared, and all I really wanted, was for you to reach out to me. I know in doing so, I had been selfish and childish at times. Indeed, I saw that I was hurting you unknowingly. I was really angry when you told me you really wanted time alone, that you just wanted to be single for a while. I didn't want to hold on to you when you are so unsure about us.

Anyway, I just need to get this off before I delete my account. I still love you, even after all these. I know I've been selfish and inconsiderate at times, and I am deeply sorry for all the unnecessary fights and hurt I made you go through.

Contrary to what you might think, I haven't forgotten about us at all. I remember everything vividly. I remember all the traveling we did. I remember our first kiss. I remember sharing our childhood memories on the train. I remember our late night chats under the stars. I remember us walking through the sunflower field at night. I remember us having fun running around in the rain. I remember us walking down the beach covered in snow. I remember us visiting all the different cities. I remember our roadtrip together. I remember cooking dinner and eating together as a couple. I remember sharing our first Valentine's day. I remember all the little things we did together... I also remember our little fights, our arguments...

And, it wasn't easy for me at all to let you go. Every time I see you I lose control of myself... it's been so long... and everyday images of you would show up at unexpected time and places. I miss you so much... How can I not miss you? I couldn't bear saying goodbye to you back then every time I have to leave. It's been so long... too long...

But let me not remember the pain between us. Let me remember you as my sweetheart. Let me remember our sweet moments together. Let me remember the time when we were holding hands, chatting at night at the sunflower field, sharing our stories together... Let me remember the time when we were walking in Barcelona talking about how we feel about the world... Let me remember our kiss under the fireworks during the Swiss Festival... Let me remember our roadtrip adventure to the beautiful sand dunes, and wonderful sunset on the beach... Let me remember the love and affection we had for one another, and let me remember you as the wonderful and beautiful woman whom I fell in love with... Given the chance again, I would not hesitate for one second to ask you to be my lover again.

Anyway, I'm letting you go. I don't wish to hold any grudges against you. You really deserve happiness and someone who understands you and love you in ways I couldn't.

Maybe someday our path will cross again, and maybe we'll talk about our stores together, with a smile. Until then...my love, goodbye...
deleted deleted
26-30
1 Response Apr 11, 2011

Think of it this way, if your girlfriend doesn't want to be with you then making this statementwon't make any difference to her, she won't change her mind, but at least you will know that in a way you kind of dumped her back and did it in an adult manner,however, if your ex subconcsciously or even consciously wants to be back with you but , for whatever reason was holding her back, then making this statement may well jolt her into a more realistic frame of mind and cause her to go into panic mode and do the very thing you want her to do, ie ask to get back with you, remember... " try once to reconcile......walk away...... stop all contact.......cry.......break your heart.......do whatever it takes to recover, but never, ever cgase after her, it's counter productive.