One Last Kiss Or One More First?

My ex and i broke up. Long story short, it was a bad break up. We said that we would stay friends... I told her that I was still in love with her. She said that she did not feel the same. Then, last night, she said (or wrote) that she was still in love with me. Of course, I immediately called her. Said, "We need to talk about this..." and we did. We had the "love isn't enough" convo and I told her that to me, she was it. My soulmate. My one true love. I also said that I would not push the issue... that if all she could give was friendship, then I would take that and hope for more in the future. Then I sang her to sleep. I sang a song that has meaning to us... Scars on 45, "Something to hold on to" ... she requested that song. Once I heard her breath deepen, I hung up the phone... saying "goonight, sweet dreams, I love you" ... I woke up this morning to my phone ringing. "Do you wanna go downtown and grab a bite?" Of course, I went. I made myself have no expectations, though. Then, walking downtown, she grabbed me and kissed me. I lost my breath. I was dizzy and weak and speechless.... just like our first kiss. Just like the first time we made love. I am still in love with her. Afterwards, we didn't talk about it, but I kept cracking my jokes about the situation... that's what I do when I am nervous. She still makes me nervous. She is just so beautiful and intellegent and amazing, when she is not mad... but I have my issue as well... and I just love her so much. When she left, it felt awkward. We did not kiss goodbye. We hugged... and that was it. I want so badly to try again... to take it slow this time and not rush it and build it stronger and better... for us both to get some healing with our past, and then move forward, but to date in the meantime. She keeps calling me her ex, though... and I don't know what to expect. But one thing is for sure, I will wait for her to decide .... I will give her all the space and time she needs... because she is worth the wait, worth the time... she may be my ex, but she is still the love of my life.
TweetBird216 TweetBird216
26-30, F
6 Responses Apr 1, 2012

good...................she still loves u ................if she keep on admitting it try to b very normal then she might feel bad that she no more means to u the way she used to b....then she might come back to u running

that is ... what?!
A. Playing games is never cool
B. This is almost a year old and I am over it
C. She is nuts... really nuts... and the fact that she played with me in that manner proves it

then its fine.................self respect is above all this............move on good decision

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It`s very important to love someone...I was searching for my soulmate all my life too. And when I did mistakes I still loved them until there wasn`t new person that can fire my heart. And finally luck was on my side...some time. I hope you`ll find love! Good luck!

I did find love... with an old friend... a guy I have known since High school... whether or not I loved her... I don't know... she was not healthy for me, though.. I do know that. She was abusive. She has emotional problems that she has yet to deal with... when I wrote this, I was still brainwashed into believing that she was the only one who would ever love me... now I am healthier and I know better... i deserve better...

That's the problem with humans they don't realize who care for them and who don't , whom they should be with and whom they shouldn't be with. Human's bitter truth

good luck with everything if it is ment to be it will be I hope you do get back with her because it sounds like you care alot for her. Best wishes to you and your life

oh, no... I am past her... i cared a lot for her, but she did not care for me and I deserve a love that is more than just one sided... we did get back together for about a month... but... there is no hope for she and I ... I was mistaken, she was not my soulmate... my sould mate would not tell me that I deserved to be beaten or that being raped was my fault.

People say crazy things I just hope you find someone that will treat you right everyone needs that.She will wake up and see that she needs you more than ever.Just stay strong,and dont let anyone get you down.Nobody is worth you not having happiness.Dont waste your life on one women unless she treats you right.

Good luck! I hope she understands that she is a very lucky lady. I hope all works out for you.