A Story I Will Never Forget.. Help Me Guys I Miss Her

Hey Guys! Here I am. I am here to tell my story, hoping I can find help and comfort because I am a really desperate man. Where to start? I am 22 going on 23 next month. I met online this woman a year ago. We met and fell in love with each others. Her parents owned a restaurant in the mall just in front of my house. Our relationship never been really easy because, we were a bit different, but who cares, we loved each others. I mean, i always thought opposite attracted. Why am I saying we are different? She is independent, stubborn, ambitious. She is 22 years old so am I, but she is way too mature for her age. Me, i am more sensitive, more emotionnal, and I am a bit dependant, really affectionate, I am flexible not stubborn and a bit insecure. So we went out together for almost a year. During our relationship, we had a lot of ups and downs (like all relationships no?), but we had so much fun together, she was like my best friend, we were playing videogames together, we were joking around often and talk on bbm all the time. I was in loveee like never before! and got attached to her so bad. I thought it was going to last long and forever. She even started to talk to me about wedding and how she saw her future with me. She told me she wouldnt give up on me no matter what. Yet, this is what happened. Last month, she saw on my facebook that I sent messages to other girls telling them they were cute. She really didnt like it and found this really disrespectful. Yet, i didnt do this with a bad intentions. I just wanted to complimented my friends and be nice. So she had this huge fight with me and told me that I am not ambitious enough, I have no ambition in life, telling me she is feeling like my mother not my girlfriend, and start blasting me !! She always felt that everything i was doing i was doing it for her, to make HER happy! she didnt like it. We were often arguing about the same things (she was telling me to find a job, and get my drivers license). and trust me, I ve been searching hard for a job and now i do have my license, but i do not have her anymore.

She left me a month ago telling me that she dont trust me anymore because of the messages and that we are too different. She knew we were different right from the beginning! The thing is that I know that those are things that could be fixed, and I ve been trying to tell her to give me another chance to prove her i can be the right man for her, yet she didnt accept and moved on with her life. For some reasons, I know that if we ever go back together, things will be so much better. Because I learned so much. but i dont see myself with another woman. I love her so much!

Here I am thinking of her everyday for the past month, I miss the good times we had, our convos on bbm, our inside jokes and everything. and I cant get over her. the thing is.. that it is my longest relationship and thats why i am so hurt. She is the first girl I met her whole family (uncle, aunt, cousins, grandparents etc) and I am still MADLYYYYYYYYY in love with her. I am scared to go to the mall in front of my house in case i see her parents or her in the mall walking around! If i go and see her or her parents what do i do or say? Do I say hi at least or just walk away like a stranger. I am desperate, sad, Ive learned from this relationship so much but I dont want to move on. I want her back. I dont know what to do! its so hard to be ignored like this. I am trying to keep my mind busy as much as I can, but shes always there in my mind. I am waiting hoping she will text me one day or talk to me. I want to go to the mall and shop and be free without being scared of seeing anyone of her family or her in the mall! I want to hold her in my arms one last time! I want to show her that no man will ever love her like i do! but uggh..

help guys. I feel like im dying a bit more everyday!

God bless you all thank you for your help

Rene