The old adage is, "The definition of of insanity is doing the same thing over & over and expecting a different result each time". Well, that's me in a nutshell (pun intended). I'm not always thinking of her but when I do, I overdo it.
Lately, I've been scheming on a way to make her want me again. At least, get a little "sweet loving" out of it. But, I know it's over and I should just be done with it but I keep hanging on (that's a song isn't it?). She has committed herself into a loose relationship and I want what we had. If I have a hard time accepting where she wants to be, then why do I want to go back to what we once had? "Just as the dog returns to his vomit, so the fool returns to his mistakes". How's that image for ya?
Thankfully, there are caring people on EP that help me to see that the past should remain in the past and my eyes should be looking ahead and not behind. As one person said, "The winner of the race doesn't keep looking back to see how close his opponents are. His eyes are on the finish line". So, I need to meditate on these thoughts and leave her alone.
RockingTheCarhartts RockingTheCarhartts
46-50, M
13 Responses Mar 10, 2014

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dump the ***** and move on. an ex is an ex for a reason.

Your opening line has confirmed that my grandmother is indeed insane ... albeit usually when dealing with computers and other electronic devices rather than human beings.

I often revert to many of those sayings..i like the one from the bible the best.. and say it to myself whenever I start to go back to the past-it puts me in my place. Anyway I just got over, getting over someone constantly. ..and it sounds like you may have some soul ties to untie..it happens often,if not always in intimate relationships..(some are just a little harder to break then others).Good luck!

How are you feeling today?

Long story. But I'm okay.

Did you see her today? Tell me the story.

I wrote an experience under 'Cuddling'. I was just reviewing it again. It had some LOL! in it.

Do you know about private messages?

yes

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I would strongly recommend the book Getting Back Together: How to Reconcile with Your Partner-- and Make It Last by Bettie Youngs, Ph.D, Ed.D., and Masa Goetz, Ph.D
It's amazing, and helps you organize your thoughts about your ex-girlfriend, and whether or not you think you can make it work again. It has great exercises & strategies! Good luck.

Move on. If she still wants you she'll come find you. By then you may not want her. Allow yourself to grow.

Just let her go....when two people want different things it's time to go and keep moving forward. Fear makes us do all kinds of things for example fear of being alone makes us stay with the wrong person far too long.

That can be true. It just know way to know for sure. That's my issue. do I let go then hope they miss me enough to come back. idk, then leaving like a gentleman with no arguments and wishing them well is well sometimes the best. that is what I have been trying to do. Just part they are happy and miss me. I don't think being hateful ever helps.

I agree. Being hateful and resentful is probably the way most people are ever able to move on. But, that's not the path I've been wanting to take. I wanted to move on but this person has some 'amazing' to her. I really respect her too much to simply be nasty about the ending. Which I don't think lprussell2 was trying to say?

I understand your feelings? I too have experienced that lately. Give yourself some time. Give it room to breathe. You never know what can happen. I keep telling myself to look forward and at my age make sure I am just handling my everyday. for me order is key. Meditate. I have been told that helps. I might do that now as well. the pain of separation is a soo uncomfortable. Be kind to yourself. No schemes just if you two do speak be honest as possible. if you love her say that but concentrate on being kind to yourself. peace and love

Well, if she is vomit what's the attraction? How long were ya'll together?

Off and on for about 4 years. She's a nice person who I was able to have sex with regularly. The vomit thing is a biblical metaphor.

What did you like about her? What did you despise about her? And What made her find someone new?

A lot of this info is in my profile. Go to December, 16 or the 18th and read towards now. Not every story is about the breakup but its it fills in the blanks without me rehashing through it.

Believe me, she is not thinking about you, nor does she care, its time to move on !

Love is the only thing worth fighting for...

I feel that you should leave her alone and move on with your life. It might be healthy in the long run.

Haters just want let go, they refuse to hold on even when you do not even want them anymore, sad that is why I am going back to Africa.

I know how you feel my friend.I met a friend she is a healer her self we both work on the same path but she needs to use her healing than storing people around her. it can cause problems I tried to get in but can't and found more about her and her life. we are now apart as friends only by her own choice but she is still my best friend and butterfly.where ever she treads.my guide warned me but i didn't listen, it hurts but we have to carry forward than thinking back. past is gone future carries on.if she misses you she will return if you was a bully then she has gone my friend. once a Bully always a Bully and you have to learn by your own mistakes in life.and if you over powered her that's being bully too, work together means you care for each other go with your friends then you don't need a woman in your life until you find your self ready to settle down and enjoy life together friendship is most important thing in a relationship and sharing each others thoughts too and work together.love to be loved is so important too.Alan butterfly to my world love and peace to all.