Still Miss Her After 40 Years
I have been married 35 years to a great wife with whom I have raised 2 great kids, so the feelings I am experiencing have left me more than confused. Before I met my wife, I had dated a girl while in high school for about 2 years before she ended the relationship because she thought we should try dating others. I worshiped that girl and was devestated at that time. After a week or so having that knot in your stomach that comes with that type of rejection and about the time I was starting to rebound and move forward with life she called and said she had made a mistake and thought we should get back together again. Looking back now, I can say I foolishly ran right back to her. We continued dating for about 6 more months before we finally broke up for the same original reason. From what I recall I was again devestated but recovered more quickly the second time around as I think I became more mad at her for doing this to me a second time. She still wanted to date me and I believe we did go out for another date or two but it was never the same for me. We seemed to run in to each other frequently and my heart always skipped a beat when I saw her but we never did resume dating. So...life moved on for me and within the following year I met my current wife. Over the years when something would jog my memory of the old girlfriend it made me realize that she had really never left my heart. But I never really allowed myself to dwell on it and moved on....that is until recently. For some reason the last couple of weeks I have not been able to stop thinking about her...and continue to analyze in my mind where things went wrong years ago....and what could I have done to make it turn out differently. I have not seen or heard from her in over 30 years. She married years ago to an old classmate of mine and as far as I know still is. I have always believed that most people never forget their first true love but I am not sure why I feel so bad about it now...over 30 years later. I am just hoping that these feeling soon pass.