An open letter to my ex:

Dear -----
I can't believe it's been a year since we last spoke. In the 12 years we were together I never though you would not be in my life. In some form I always thought we would always be best friends even if we were not together. We saw and experience so much together from young teens to adults we encounter everything. We did it all from seeing each other biggest achievements to our darkest fails. To witness new life and beginnings to the ends of so many friends and loved ones. Even those darkest of moments when nothing could be seen we saw each other's hand. We held on as long as we could. We saw each other strengths and our faults mine being more but we still stuck through it. 12 years not one name was called with out the other. We were a duo -----&---- that was us. Until one day it faded. We were no longer the team. It ended like switch of a light. I tried and tried to forgive the cheating the lying and the betrayal. How a course of two months it all became different. I was ignorant for not noticing my actions had pushed you away but I also felt the lack of communication that you were not happy. How we saw two different perspectives. I never could of thought you would be so cruel and mean. For the longest time I wondered if I was the catalyst for this ugly turn. I still am at a lost for that. I still think about you at least once a day it usually when I'm driving. The long drive is where my mind wonders I think mostly of the past the of how things were where they turned. I think about you and the success you have achieved with being engaged to a new man. How all we saw and did is just stories between you and him now. If I'm even brought up. I also think how I'm sought as a joke a running gag between the two of you. It pains me so much thinking that. I never really got the closure I wished or hoped for. The main thing that gets me is the anger and hate I felt from you. Like this was all pay back for something I did. A punishment you saw deserving. I still remember the smirk you had when we last saw each other. Like you were enjoying seeing me self implode. Still that question mark stays scared in my heart. There is not all bad in this story in this sadness I found someone who I love very much and her two children I would be proud to call my own. If not for your actions I would never had met her. I write this letter not for you but for me as I need to create my own closure and start my new chapter in my life. I just still wonder why and how.

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Madmanwithabox29 Madmanwithabox29
31-35, M
Jul 21, 2015