Neither Of Us Wanted To Break Up.

Our relationship was a secret kept within close friends for 11 months. It was secret because it was slightly illegal, he was an adult, and I was a minor. AND under 16 which made anything we did that much worse.
We were togehter from a distance, it was a long distance relationship.
We flirted in person, got together online, were together in person even.

But that wasn't often.

There was a light though, I was able to see him that summer. I was so excited. I knew we wouldn't be able to kiss...but I mean, I was at the point where even a hug would hold me over. It was so painful.
But I knew it would get better, because I would see him.

I was going to be able to see him because he was going to be volunteering at a program that I was going to attend that summer. Only for a couple different days though, I wouldn't be seeing him everday or anything.

But some how word got back to the administration office, that we had a 'thing'.
His professor came up to him one day after class, and told him that they had found out about everything, and that he was never to go back to that program or campus without consequences.
Which would be fines, jail maybe, felonies, and definately expelled from college.

With no visiting plans near, and too high of stakes, we broke up.

I still remeber what he said to me...he just asked me to do my best, and to still go even if he wasn't there.
The program was going to start in 3 days.
I had 3 days to get myself together enough to be at the exact place where I first met him, where all are best memories were.
I was crushed, I couldn't concieve how I was going to deal with the nostalgia.

I spent those 3 days alone...in my room, crying for the most part. And feeling intense guilt. I felt that if I had told less people, especially my mother, ALL of it could of been completely avoided. I felt solely responsible...and for the most part I still do...
otter3 otter3
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 19, 2010

im so sorry.. sounds like you really loved him.. i've only loved 1 guy before, and it was a slightly similar story. breakups are really hard