Please Wake Up...

Now write your story below... Thats what it says to do on this experience project website. I dont know if my lifes sad and very depressing acts qualify for a "story". I dont consider it a story, but i guess it is. Well my story has no amazing ending where the princess goes off to live with her prince happily ever after. It's more of the princess got pissed off and walked away from the one person who knew her better than herself. I have my reasons why I did it, and they are good points and the "logical" thing to do. But I really have to question why something like this would ever happen to me. Why should I have ever trusted someone like him to hold my heart only to have him throw it on the ground and stomp on it. Because of him I cant eat or sleep or listen to the radio or watch tv. Everything is a constant reminder of our love that we had. I am a broken and hollow form from what I used to be. This is how it all happened...
I met Patrick at my first job when I was a teenager. We both worked at this theater and the moment I saw him I had to have him. He was very tall with all these muscles bulging out from underneath his work shirt. Trust me he was as hott as they come. However, the moment we met, I found out he was extreamly shy and would barely talk to anyone. Which thus provoked my crush for him even more. One night at this private screening for ice age i brought my little sister along for her to watch the movie and Patrick was there. I was able to convince him that He should watch the movie with me and my sister than to watch Public Enemies. He agreed to watch it with us and at the end of the movie I gained enough courage to give him my number. (Which is shocking since I am a very shy person also). Had I known that giving him my number would end up in so much heart break I would have never done it. That night however, changed my life. We talked everyday all day long. So it wasnt long until he asked me to be his girlfriend and I accepted 100%. We dated for awhile but then school started back up and it was our senior year. He transfered to my school, to my surprise. So we were now with each other all the time.
This one time however, we decided to take this break. It was around homecoming. And he invited some other girll to go to homecoming with him... I was devestated and so hurt. It hurt more because the stupid **** he took was a good friend of mine. To this day I still cant forgive her. Unfortunately for me, after a lot of begging and crying on his part, i took Patrick back. And our love was more strong this time around I felt as if I was on cloud 9. Two days before christmas I gave myself to him. He was my first. And I couldnt help but think that he would be my only. We were inseperable and so in love, it was blinding. Very blinding. So blinding that I missed everything that was going on behind my back.
I think I should tell you about Patricks past. when I met Patrick he was freshly out of rehab. His parents sent him to rehab because he was addicted to pot and pills. That should have been my first red flag and my stopper for ever dating him, but it wasnt. It wasnt because he never seemed like he would ever go back to that stuff and he was so positive. I was wrong.
Anyways., As the school year came to an end so did prom. Our senior prom took place at the newport aquarium. And it was there with all my friends in the jelly fish room that he proposed to me. And I said yes... I was so happy, happier than I had ever been in my whole life. So as school ended and graduation finally came i said goodbye to all my old friends and stood by my love the whole time. Gosh was i a fool for this guy. So while summer picked up speed and i worked more and he got a new job at cheeseburger and paradise as a cook, it seemed like we never got to see each other. He would come to see me everynight after he got off work but we never had a full day just dedicated to each other. it was tough.
One night we both had the same night off but he planned on spending it with his friends... it really hurt me but i said it was ok and that i would just hang out with some of my own friends. So everything was going fine until my bestfriend told me she got a text from her boyfriend saying that Patrick was smoking pot and that he had been doing it behind my back for weeks now. I exploded. I was so madd at him! I gathered up everything he had ever given me and anything that was his and put it all in a trash bag and gave it to him. even my beautiful ring. To my surprise he took it all and threw it away, the ring included.
I should have been done with him for good.. but oh no it was not to be. He begged harder and cried harder and pleaded harder than ever before. He even talked to my parents and begged them to forgive him. Stating that he would never do it again. I fell for it and took him back. I know your thinking im crazy but dont worry because i know I am. Im also stupid.
So once again blah blah blah we were in love and blah blah blah.
On some random day Patricks mom decided to drug test him... And wouldnt you know it he failed it. Ha! big surprise.
Once again I was heart broken and I vowed to myself that I would never talk to him again...
So here I am. The girl that said she would never talk to him hasnt. But I miss him with every bone in my body. I cry everynight before I go to sleep and I cry everymorning because I just wish to wake up from this nighmare. I am consumed with my thoughts of him and I have no idea what to do with myself during the day because he was always with me and we would do stuff together. I am lost.
Patrick got kicked out of his home and is staying with one friend or another, all of which also do drugs.
I know that I am stupid and shouldnt be crying over him. But I love him..... and i think i always will.
DBlondey DBlondey
18-21, F
Aug 5, 2010