What Used To Be My Happiness

My name is Nick. im 17 years old and this is my heartbreak. i dated this girl for almost a year  i know it may seem like such a short time but i never put so much time or effort into a relationship. i was afraid to love her at first because i ddint like going through my first heartbreak and never wanted to go through another one again. but i couldnt help myself. i loved her so much i fell in love with this girl i just never thought about anyone else other than her. she was my everything, my reason to get through school, my reason to get up in the morning, my reason to smile. im sorry im crying while typing this... i loved her so much and i was so afraid to lose her, i know its not right to control your gf/bf but i had no idea i was doing it... i was keeping her from her friends and she never once complained about it and if she did i was too stuborn to listen. i was just so afraid to lose her... in my mind im a nobody im just another person in this world and there are so many better guys out there that can sweep her off her feet and make her happier than i can ever hope to imagine. she broke up with me and ever since ive been so distraught i cry at least once a week i can never stop thinking about her and i cant stop thinking about what we went through i know some of you guys may look at me as just a stupid kid who has the rest of his life to go through.. but i never been so attached to someone before. i dont want to feel this way i dont want to be sad anymore but i just cant help myself. i love this girl so much its killling me so much and i have to act like im fine. shes so happy without me like its a proven fact she doesnt think about me shes moved on completly but no matter how hard i try i cant. i dont want to be like this. i get hate mail on tumblr facebook and even my phone from numbers i dont know telling me how happy she is and what a **** up i am. she already has another boyfriend like after a month of us breaking up... it just makes me so depresed... did it mean anything to her? the moemnts we spent together the significant things ive done with her and no one else... basicly what im asking is... was it all just a game? a lie? no matter what i want her back... i want her back so much that no matter what i say or think i want to hold her again i want to tell her i love her... but im a person who doesnt go back on his promises. i promised her when we broke up that i would be the best person i can be no matter how hard i will never stop being better... but i also made a secret promise while in the relationship. i promised that she was my last chance... my last chance at something real and my last chance at love... and i truley intened to keep that promise... i keep wishing and hoping that this is all some kind of dream... but its not... i lost the most important person to me and now she could give a **** less dont make the mistake i did please ifyour reading this... i am a **** up dont take what u have for granted i just want help i dont want to hear that theres other people out there or that time will heal everything it doesnt work for me... i need help :/ please someone help me im so lost and broken... please im begging you... please help me
Nick94 Nick94
18-21, M
1 Response May 9, 2012

I know how you feel. I recommend this book called How to Get over Anyone in Just a Few Days. If you really want to stop hurting, this book will help. I was in your situation and this book explained everything to me. Don't think about the cost of the book because its really really essential for you to feel feel better. http://www.2knowmyself.com/How_to_get_over_anyone I can't write a lot because everything I want to tell you is in this book. I sincerely feel your pain and the only way to get better is to see how things really are. Trust me. You will need to read this book at least 3 days in a row and as much as possible after that. I promise that you will feel so good, brand new, and maybe even laugh at yourself a little, which is important. You will get through this, I promise.