There Isn't A Single Day That Goes By That I Haven't Still Thought Of You.

I am 17 and last year when I was a sophomore in high school and it was the first time I have ever been asked out by anyone before. His name was Gabe and he was a senior and an Italian exchange student from Italy. I know that I shouldn't have said yes when he asked me out but I was excited and hopeful. We were in Spanish 1 together and I remember always thinking it would be really cool to get to know him and be his friend. One day he came up to me before class ended (it was the last class of the day) and he said (I had a lot of buttons on my backpack then) "I like your pins" in the cutest Italian accent ever, I said thank you and then the bell rang and I remember walking home super happy that he actually talked to me. The next day I was really excited for class to end because I was really hoping that he would talk to me again, he ended up coming up to me and I have no idea what he said so I just smiled at him and then he said "Can I talk to you outside when the bell rings?." So I agreed and when the bell rang we walked down the hallway and my heart was beating so fast, he told me that he thought that I was really cool and that He wanted to hang out with me sometime. I gave him my number and the next day we went on our first lunch date. That week we hung out after school and we talked for hours while walking around, when we were going back to my house he looked at me and said "I think your very pretty." My face got so red and I was so happy... We dated for about 7 months and I wish that I wasn't so shy back then. My favorite memories were just being with him wherever we were. I loved laying on my bed with him and he would hold me and tell me that he never wanted to leave and that he loved being with me. He made me feel so special and happy and that I actually mattered.. I don't know why but when we had to pretend not to be together because of his crazy host mom, he ended up cheating on me with his ex, I don't know what happened or what I did but I didn't know until someone told me. Eventually I got so upset about it I talked to her and we found out that neither of us knew and he was the liar. But he convinced me it would never happen again and so I stayed with him until his last day here. I miss all of the times we spent together so much now, and when he left I went and said goodbye to him at the airport and that was the hardest things ever. When he had cellphone service one last time he texted me and said that he loved me... During the summer I would stay up late and talk to him and he would stay up late and talk to me, eventually he moved on and he now has a new girlfriend... now whenever I see him on skype I try to say "Hi" or "How are you doing" But he doesn't even bother to talk to me anymore and I feel like he has forgotten about me... Everything still reminds me of him and I can't stop talking about things that remind me of him. I miss him so much and it hurts to think of him with someone else... I even still have dreams about him coming back and saying that he missed me, and he was going to come back in the spring but then he didn't have the money to. I wish I could forget him and move on but its hard. I wish he knew that I still love him and I wish that he still loved me too.....
bayleezan bayleezan
18-21, F
1 Response May 13, 2012

First loves are always the hardest ones. I feel like you are sabotaging yourself by wanting something that you can't have. And not because he has a new girlfriend but because he is so far away. If he doesn't even talk to you on Skype or even bother to say hi, he doesn't seem worth your precious precious time. It seems hard right now because there is a lot of things going on in your life and you feel like you still have a little hope left because he hasn't said that he hates you or can't talk to you or something that. He left you an opening that allows that bit of hope to squeeze its way into your soul. I'm going to say it honestly and boldly: forget about him. Its probably the best thing if your heart is hurting.