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She Is In My Very Soul

We were together six years. Most of those years were good, though not by much. When things were good, they were amazing. By the end, it was toxic. We brought each other down. I have no delusions. I am a healthier person without her. It is the same with her.

I do not believe in divorce, but I let her have it because I was tired of convincing her to stay. I tried drowning out her image through intimacy with other women, it worked for a while. I am embarrassed that I still love her. We were so cruel to one another.

We've both grown so much, since. We are both stronger, more stable, better. I didn't realize until two weeks ago, though, that the growth I have experienced was with the subconscious purpose of finding my way back to her.

Loving is not easy for me. I chose her. I vowed to find new ways to love her every day. I love her more today than I did yesterday. I loved her more yesterday than the day before. And it goes back and back and back and back.

Time will heal, I know it. The wound, though, will remain scarred.
Dlishninja Dlishninja 26-30, M 1 Response Jul 18, 2012

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Aww this is what's up with me and my ex. We love eachother but it can get toxic. He needs to work on things in his life and me on mine. Once I am feeling better and get things together, I am hoping to get him back...but idk...it's guna be a while if so. So many changes to make..so many things to do. I want him in the long run though.