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My Ex. My Everything. Help Me Please =(

I dated him for 5 years. We're both 19 and we ended our relationship in good terms but everything suddenly became HORRIBLE. I broke up with him because he would only care about his friends and cards, we're both studying in different colleges and he didn't know when he would see me in an entire week BUT every Tuesdays and Thursdays he would get together with his friends to play this stupid card game that meant everything for him, he kept it a secret until I found out.

It was so important to him that there was this day, he called me and told me we would go to the movies during the evening but strangely he disappeared (yes, out of nowhere) and I called him because I was worried and he told me exactly this: "Hey, I'm at the movies with my friends, do you want anything?"... he broke my heart. We went through a very bad situation because later he went on a trip to New York and instead of sending me messages and making me feel desirable and beautiful he started sending messages to a friend of mine. Telling her exactly what I wanted him to tell me. I don't know you, girls.... but I think that's CHEATING so I broke up with him. He acted like an @ssh*l3.

I found out in a terrible way... I found his facebook password in my phone because I remember he had to give it to me because of a problem he had with his computer once. When I entered hi facebook I found out he finally hooked up with her (when he came back) and was dating another girl. I was so upset, so I told an acquaintance of him that we should go out (because he told me several times he liked me).

The thing is after months of not knowing absolutely anything about him, he came and told me he wanted me back but I was so broken hearted and resented that I told him that being friends was a best idea, and if things turn differently and we decided to be together again then, good.

But there was this day, my best friend was driving me insane telling me that he sucks and I called my ex and told him I didn't want to be friends or anything with him again =(!!! I SERIOUSLY REGRET THAT! I still love him.

And today I talked to him for the very first time after that, he sounded like a douchebag, implying that he doesn't want to come back to me ever again but I asked him to get together and talk a little and he accepted, he's coming over tomorrow. I know he's hurt for what I did.... but, I'm really sorry. I won't tell him, beg him, or ask him to come back. I just want this war to end... I miss talking to him once in a while and all that...

I want to look beautiful for tomorrow and... I want to make him want me back but I don't know what to do. HELP ME!!! PLEASE =(
milablue milablue 18-21, F Dec 11, 2012

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