Why Do I Miss Him?
There's no reason I should miss him. He was a total a**. Many people tell me he cheated on me. In my heart I know it's not true, it would've been easier if it was. Still, he did a lot of bad things. First off, it was very important for me to be a virgin when I married, looking back I see why they are all that more important now than ever. Too late for that though...he had different intentions. He left me in the middle of nowhere several times (twice I can count at least). He took a random girl from work to a friend's wedding when I couldn't attend without asking me. He has no idea how to be alone, he will take anyone before he has to be alone, probably even a prostitute. I could go on for a while...
The point is, despite everything, I loved him. Which is a big step for me. It's hard for me to trust people and to believe in "love". He has now destroyed all chances of that. I was so stupid...I should've seen it coming, I was only 18 at the time. He was divorced, still in college at 23, and had a lame-*** job. I am 20 now, and I still feel I have learned absolutely nothing.
I want to love my current boyfriend, but I feel like a horrible girlfriend to him. He is a total sweetheart, he even cleaned up my throw up when I was sick and said he'd stick with me through thick and thin (my ex was shallow and dense, I can't say the same for him).