The Neverending Story

We starting dating nearly six years ago. Both of us were young and lived a crazy, have fun party lifestyle. We always had one of those super passionate relationships, but with every overly amazing portion, we had even worse dark periods of fighting. It was never physical, but the emotional pain we purposely inflicted on each other was just as bad. It went on like this for four long years until he decided that he was done. I was devastated. I tried to get him back for months, but it was like he had disappeared, I never saw or heard from him or about him. I tried to move on and casually dated, but he was the love of my life. 

Last August of 2008, I had a dream about being with him again when things were good. I decided to text him, and, amazingly, he wrote me back. We reconnected on a new level, more as friends catching up on our new lives, our past relationship, and what we had been up to. Miraculously, he told me that he had felt the same way I had for all of those years. But he was in a relationship, and we had both moved to opposite sides of the country. I tried not to get my heart involved, but I did. He had made his relationship seem casual, but last Tuesday I received a text from his current girlfriend explicitly telling me otherwise. 

I feel just as crushed and confused as I did when he left two years ago. I know I have to move on, but I just don't seem to be able to. After that day when I spoke to his girlfriend, we basically decided not to speak. I keep thinking in my mind that if he didn't still love me that he never would have responded to my text or told me all of the things he did, but at the same time, I feel like he wouldn't have given me up for a second time. I miss him, but I know its over forever and that is what hurts the most.  

themanicmind themanicmind
22-25, F
4 Responses Feb 23, 2009

If it's meant to be it'll work out. Wait for him to come to you this time.

i went through the same situation after 7yrs of love..<br />
and now its all over..the pain is still killing me..i can understand you..

That really sucks I think he thinks of you.. because it is harder for men to get over woman then woman getting over a man trust me! I hope you find love again

Emotional pain purposely inflicted is not love in any way. Sometimes something that is completely wrong for you can also bring about passion as weird as that sounds. You are missing something that you never really had.