The Loss Of Family

I lost my mother in July of 2009 from a heart attack. I lost my father from colon cancer in 2007. I lost a brother in 2008 from lung cancer, I lost a nephew in 1999 to drowning. Even though I lost very important people in my life, I know that there are always others dying daily. I have found it hard to face death, knowing I die every day that I live. It is a fear I have of how will I die, and when, not just that I die. I am not scared of the after life for me, but I do wonder for others; I do wonder for the ones that have passed away; my mother beleived in God, went to church and was a preacher in Drasco Arkansas. My father was a baptist and he grew up smoking and drinking, and cussing, and beating on people, including me and my mother. My brother was Athiest, he had no belief of God, and my Nephew was Agonostic; he had beleifs of a higher power than God. Of all the various back grounds I came from, it is easy to wonder what is truth, who ir right, and what happens if I am worng? I know that I go to church, I loved my family and I espeacially love God. I know I live life to the fullest that I can, and I also realize that some things can not be explained. For instance, why is there death, why are there 9 planets, what becomes of people once things are said and done? I may never know because that is not my job, but I do the best I can and enjoy life to the fullest. I lost a lot of my family, but one day I will see them again; at least I hope so!
laurielee1980 laurielee1980
31-35, F
2 Responses Apr 24, 2012

Hi Laurielee1980: Gee, you went through the mill too like with my family. When I took a look at so many of my family members that are gone, that's when I started to worry. I had a very big family, took a look at this picture I have in the hall & everyone's gone. Even my little Son who was only 3 years old at the time is gone. Lost him, my only child, 10 days before Christmas, 2011. I had to unwrap all the presents I got him and take them all back. Boy, was that a terrible experience. Everyone happy & laughing because of the holidays & I'm taking my dead Son's presents back. I was looking on the internet to see if I could locate some relatives. Lots of Hugs, Bernadette

wow ! you have been through alot lately , and my thoughts and prayers go out to you ~ hand tough keep strong , and keep on beleivin , ..................Peter