Daddy's Little Girl

My father died in 2000 of lung cancer. I was blessed enough to have been there to say good bye to him when he left us...for the final time.  I was not raised with my father. He married my mother because he got her pregnant with me.  When I was born, I became his world.  For the next two years he envolped me in his love and then walked a way.  For the next 13 years I saw him only twice. During that time I could not get much information from my mother about him, so I came up with all these ideas of who he was. I told kids he was a spi for the American goverment, he was fight the war in Vietnam, I even said he was Howard Hughes.  Then one morning when I was 15 I got a phone call from him asking if I'd come spend the summer with him. I was on a plane to him the next day.  When I saw him I ran and jumped into his arms and hugged him so tight. It felt like he had never been away.  I had a wonderful time getting to know my father. He taught me how to play poker and yatzee and to love fried onion rings. When it was time for me to go home he drove me rather than fly so he could spend more time.  I returned to school a much happier and more confident person, because I saw my dad.  I had new stories to tell the kids at school. He was a truck driver and the best mechanic in all of America. Sadly 7 more years went by before I heard from him again.  For the next 20 years we became pen-palss He called me on my birthday every year and on christmas morning.  He finally found a women to settle down with and seemed happy.  I had given him his only grandchildren at that time and I wanted him to meet them.  I sent him a plane ticket to come and visit.  It was at this time I really got to know just who my father really was.  He was a troubled man when he was younger, Alcohal had inslaved him for so long, he couldn't stay in one place to long.  It was at this visit I told my father I forgive him.  It was such a nice visit. His grandchildren instantly loved him and he was so proud of them.  After he returned home, he called me to say he had lung cancer and didn't have long to live.  Our phone calles became much more frequent. Then he couldn't talk, so it was back to letters.  I got to go see him one last time, to hug him and tell him I love him very much.   Honestly my father wasn't there for me growing up.  He wasn't there for my first day of school, he didn't see me receive my awards for being a good student and athlete, He didn't attend my highschool graduation or walk me down the isle and give me away on my wedding day, but I know to the bottom of my heart, my father  loved me so very much. Because of that is why I miss him so very much.

flipfloptwinkletoes flipfloptwinkletoes
46-50, F
7 Responses Jul 13, 2008

I am beyond sad.......My daddy died on JULY 23, 2013.......after battling COPD for 17 long years........It was one of the worst days of my life........You see, I was DADDY'S main caregiver......I gave him his breathing meds on a daily basis and I took care of his oxygen tanks and his oxygen concentrator......i had to change the hose quite often ( and just to make my daddy laugh or smile I lovingly called him "Hose Nose") HE SURE DID GET A KICK OUT OF THAT.....and so did I..........You see, I was not laughing at him...........but I SURE WAS LAUGHING WITH HIM....HE WAS SUCH A GREAT MAN........I still miss him as much as I LOVED him........His death has left a GREAT, BIG GAPING HOLE in me........They say time heals all wounds...........but to be perfectly honest........The more time that goes by the harder this is to deal with............

My heart goes out to those of you whose father has died. My father was an alcoholic, I left home at an early age and in later years we finally developed more of a relationship. I was 29 when my dad died of pancreatic cancer that had spread to his liver. He was only 51. Now I am 58 but I still wonder what kind of man he really was. At the time of his death I was with him, at hospital, he woke up once and tried to liff his head and I was sitting in a chair. "I'm right here Daddy" he saw me and said "I love you honey" and I said "I love you too Daddy". Those were his last words, I was so angry to lose him once we were really getting to know each other, and the grief was hurtful for many years. My loss was a lot longer ago but I continue to think of him sometimes. I have his coffee mug. Hugs to all of you.

Thanks for sharing your story. I too was a daddy's girl and I adored my dad (and still do) who died of heart disease less than 3 weeks ago. He taught me to play poker and I love to play as it makes me feel close to him. I wish you peace and closure. We are lucky to have had our dads.

Thank you for your kind thoughts. Just yesterday I started to try to find his family. Won't be easy with a name like White. Hope it is a good idea. I can not express how much it means to me to be able to relate to your story and your response to mine.XXX

I'm so sorry for your loss. My mother did a lot of minuplation also in keeping him away from my brother and I, but thankfully his mother(my paternal grandmother) kept tabs on where we were. I think the fact that your dad wanted to see you again should give your comfort in knowing that he did love you.

p.s. the phone company story was a lie. She said she did it because she didn't want him to hurt me. Well I hurt.

I am crying from reading your story. My mother was married five times. I was a product of the first marriage. I was two when her second husband adopted me, only to be ripped away a couple of years later. When I was 18, I called my house to ask for a ride home, but the phone didn't work. I hitchhiked home and told my mother. She told me that the phone company had changed all the phone numbers in the neighbourhood. Six months later she told me my real father had called and wanted to meet me. He was ill and didn't have long to live. My mother brought my younger half brother to the hospital he was at and a photo album of me. Then she told me all about it after she died. It is too late now of course, but I always thought that if I could have spent any time with him that we would have automatically known that we loved each other, much as you described. I am so hurt by my mother's manipulation.