I Miss My Father He Was My Very Best Friens

My father was my best friend in the world. He died in  February 2008. He was not sick although he had attributing ailments.  He was a type II diabetic but his A1-C was a 6 that's pretty dam good for a diabetic. He told me he was having chest pain and I raced from work to his house to find he had already call 911. He was awake alert and his vitals were outstanding and then with in minutes he was gone just like that. I had moved the paramedic out of the way as he gasped for his last breaths of air held his hand and told him I loved em. I took the ambulance ride with his lifeless body and begged him to come back but he was gone. It has not gotten any easier my whole world has fallen apart. I have good days and bad ones and find comfort in thinking he is now reunited with his family. I don't know if I've gone thru the stages of dealing with his death. I still talk to him as if he's here. I still go sit in his chair and tell him how my day went. I pour him a glass of Pepsi in hopes the glass will be empty before my eyes. I wake up each morning and hope this was nothing but a nightmare.


chel0773 chel0773
31-35, F
4 Responses Nov 9, 2008

I lost my Dad to a 18 month battle with cancer. I did get to say good bye, but watching him melt away infront of me was hard. He did say at the end that when death comes fast it's good for the person but hard on the family and when death comes slowly its hard on the person but easier on the family. I do know I do miss him.

Thank You for your words of kindness. I'm sorry Missfitz about your experience. Funny cuz I had a tif with my dad only moments before. I called him back to apologize and that's when he told me he was having cheast pain. I did take time off to get my fathers affairs in order. Then was in the hospital w/ stress induced collits. Let's see then my bank account was frozen by my ex whom I co-signed a loan for over 10 yrs ago lost my job due to being sick. Yeah it's been a great year. I'm looking now to get back to work but w/ the economy it's been pretty hard. Know anyone in need of a medical biller ?? Thanks again for feedback. here...

I am so sorry you lost your father. I know it is not easy to say goodbye. How blessed you were to be able to tell him you love him. Almostthere83 is right - take the time to grieve. There is no timeline for the grief process, but don't allow yourself to wallow. Allow life and happy things to enter your world - your father definitely would not want you to grieve forever. The greatest joy you can give to your parents is to live life well. Cry about your loss, but laugh about the joy your father brought you, too. You have no idea how truly lucky you were to be able to tell him you loved him. My mother died knowing I was extremely angry with her that day. While I know she knew I loved her, part of me hates the fact that the day she died, I wished she would just go away (typical teenager). May God bless you and guide you through your grief.

I'm sorry you lost your father, at least he didn't suffer very much and you were able to tell him you loved him before he left this world.<br />
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If talking to him works for you, then do it, I always say the ones who love us never really leave and are always watching us.<br />
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It's hard, so give yourself the time to grieve properly. Take some time off if possible, reconnect with other family members, go to church, talk to a counselar, whatever will help you get through this.<br />
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With time you will start to heal, and though you will always miss your father, at least you will be able to live your life, I'm sure you father wouldn't want you to grieve forever.<br />
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Take care.