I Miss My First Love
My name is Melissa, and I have missed my first love for nearly 2 years now. I was 18 years old and getting ready to start college. I was working as a cashier during my first job that summer. On a busy night, that is when I met him for the very first time. His smile, his face, his personality, everything attracted me to him. I didn't ever really believe in "love at first sight" until that night. We had so many similarities, we shared the same values and morals, I didn't know what this new feeling was that had surrounded me. I loved everything about him. I knew I wanted to be with him forever, call it woman's intuition, but I had such a strong feeling in my heart that this was the man I had been waiting for.
We didn't go out for very long, only about 2 months, when he suddenly broke up with me. I had never been more upset in my entire life. I didn't know what had gone wrong. I didn't mind the fact that he was older and had already begun work, and neither did he. It's true that I would tend to get very clingy, yet I didn't know how to handle all these new emotions I was experiencing. We had our differences, yet we told each other we were going to work them out. I can still remember us telling each other how much we wanted one another. I didn't even realize that I was in love with him until after he broke up with me. I was never able to tell him how I felt.
In several ways, I feel that this was probably for the best, that I deserved someone who would love me unconditionally, yet to this day I still long for answers. There have been many times that I don't think of him and I go about my life like every day, yet sometimes I dream of him at night, and wake up in the morning in tears. Sometimes, I feel the only way I can stop missing him is if I talk to him personally, yet it's been so long and it would be so awkward to see him again. I know I am strong, and I know I have the willpower to forget about him. I have been able to live my life without him for this long, yet there are times that I miss him so much I want to run to him and tell him my true feelings.
I believe in destiny, and I believe that if something is meant to be, it WILL happen. If not, there is something much better out there waiting for us. Yet it is sometimes very hard to accept this, especially when it involves your very first love.
