I Miss Him Sometimes

I still dream about my first love. He just got married and I have been married now for 2 years. I love my husband deeply, but my first love, well hes more of my soul mate. My husband and I have had a lot of stress in our life this year (not with eachother) just life, having a home, career and trying to start a family.


Life just hasnt turned out as I dreamed well at least not just yet. I know he and I will have a great life together and I have no regrets marrying him, I just miss my first love sometimes.

Goldielocks Goldielocks
26-30, F
28 Responses Nov 2, 2006

I never got over my first love nissa. She means the world to me. Everyday for 20 years now i open my eyes in morning and falk to peices when i realise she is not beside me. I promised her i would love her till the day i died and to break that promise would be to dishonner everything about her. I cry myself to sleep everynite. I am almost 40yo and feal no different than the first day we parted. I blame myself for everything that went wrong. She is a highly paid senior phsycologist..i have trouble breathing at nite because of anxiety. I am a true failure in my life she wasmy only friend. I have hung on for this long and dont know how to be anyone else. If she talked to me just one more time i would not but i already made the decision..u am going to takey life...its a horrible world without her

Aww suks for you... but not trying to insult. I just don't know what to say to your situation. Maybe except God bless? Or good luck?

I recently had the wonderful experience of meeting my high school love again!!!! We havent seen each other in over 15 years and it was as though time had stood still!!! Yes we are very different people than we were in high school and we both have families that we cannt imagine being without, but the emotions and the feelings were still there!!! Everything we did just clicked like a puzzle fitting together..I do love him and I will always love him, but we have lives that we choose and who knows maybe someday our time will be!!!

Hello everyone,<br />
<br />
I cannot believe there are so many people still missing their first love. I personally will probably never forget my first love. I have never met anyone like him or experienced anything similar to feelings i shared with my first love. And I am not sure why but I felt and feel it was mutual on exactly the same level. We both loved each other and felt something very special. I still think about him now and then ( maybe once in 3 months) and burst into tears before falling asleep. It is very strange. I am not in love with him anymore I guess i just miss him when i wonder what it would be like had we not gone to different universities.

It's always that first love that ruins everything :-/

When I was sixteen i fell in love with a troublesome boy named mike..<br />
i was a "good girl" and that could be why there was attraction..but i loved him and he brke my heart by calling his first love when he as with me and talking to other girls at aprtys and such..(typical teenage boy)<br />
I broke it off and he left for mississippi getting back with the girl from the phone and got into lots of trouble and going to prison..<br />
<br />
back here i met an older man who i thought i did love but see now he was veery controling and i cant stand the thought of him or what he did to me a young 16 yr old girl..him being in his twentys..it disgusts me..i wanted away from him becuase he was mentally abusive ..<br />
<br />
mike got out and came back to oklahoma..changed indeed..he was very much a gentle men..i said what the hey and gave it another shot..it was great! i never told him i loved him and one night out of know where he said it first...i said it back..and a few days later he stayed gone about a wk..i thought "here we go again" and broke it off..<br />
<br />
several months later i met a new guy who i fell for as well but not like with mike..this guy was a romantic sweet talker...the very opposite of mike..things moved quick and we got engaged..not even two days after the engagment i found out i was preg.<br />
<br />
we got a place togther and had the baby not gettin married cuz it didnt feel right to me..i dreamed and cried for mike all the time..things got abusive with my sons dad and i had to leave..<br />
<br />
we moved in with my mom and those were tough times and the hardest part of my life..i was sitting outside on the porch thinkin up a next move..and mike drove by the yard ..without thinking i yelled and he stopped..i showed him by 4mo baby boy tristyn (mike has a lways loved kids) and they became close instiantly..<br />
he came around more and more and he was a great friend during that time.. <br />
wwe ended up dating and we got a place..we are engaged and my son calls him dada...his real dad is never around..no phone calls no nothing..havent been in almost a year..mike haas been there his entire life and feels like boo is his..<br />
<br />
i dont see being with anyone else is right..it feels right with him..<br />
my mother doesnt like him which is hard..and she is against the idea of boo calling him dada..<br />
idk..i feel lke it is his right becuase he is a father to him..<br />
im so glad im with my first love and it reLLY DOES give me more reason to work at the relationship with him when we argue and disagree..<br />
im really glad we both left childhood behind and found a way back to one another..<br />
it still blows my mind some times..i think if i tried mving on with some one else i would always wonder about him

I get where you are coming from.<br />
Its hard.<br />
i know.

I know all too well the bitterness of a lost first love. We still communicate through e-mail occasionally, but since we both got married it has been relegated mostly to crappy forwards and chain mails. <br />
<br />
Please don't misunderstand me, I am very much in love with my wife even more so with each passing day, and we have made a beautiful, if not sometimes obnoxious daughter (terrible two's!) and have settled down to a wonderful life. Sometimes i just can't help but wonder the what if's though.

The posting on Nov 9th, 2007 at 2:44PM from OldSoul is 200% on the nose!<br />
<br />
I was having dreams of my first love and wondering if I married too young. I finally found my first love (lest call him *Rob); we hung out and partied a couple times but then I remembered why it didn't last the first time... no personality.<br />
<br />
I no longer have dreams of *Rob and we no longer talk.<br />
<br />
I built up this fantasy life with *rob and I because I was not satisfied with my life at the moment.<br />
<br />
I think in times of stress and unhappiness the mind tries to escape to a happy memory whatever it may be.<br />
<br />
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

my first relationship lasted about 4 years. Though, now its a 7 year old story, sometimes I feel I haven't got over it. There are few things in life that you just dont forget - and first love is one of them. I still clearly remember when I first kissed her. <br />
Now, I try not to miss her any more, I try to cherish whatever great time we spend together and try to happy. I know prolly I am never going to meet/talk to her again(our relationship ended sour). I firmly believe in destiny - whatever happens, happens for your own good. This keeps me moving - hope this keeps you moving too. :)

24 years have passed and I still think of my first love. First love just seems to have a special place in everyone's heart that last a life time. I do wonder if he ever thinks of me. It has been 15 years since I last saw him ,we both made sure our eyes never meet since he and I both are married. Do wonder how he is doing and if life has been good to him.

I know the feeling, I constantly think of someone I loved in the past too..but knowing that I have now moved on and that she's married brings home the fact that we won't be together again. Plus I do feel that if love's meant to be it will be. <br />
<br />
Just be glad for love that you've had.<br />
<br />
Kind Regards

I was engaged to my first love but had a prophetic ministry calling upon my life. We let our love slip away by people, strong events, his powerful father, etc. I married again but it did not work I left him expecting a daughter and moved in with my dad. My first love ended up buying a farm down the road from my dad. He found out I had gotten married so he got married. Now I am having progressive dreams he and I are married finally. The dreams are continual of things going on currently in his life. He is so lonely from a picture I saw in the newspaper as he is a prestigeous public figure he looked like he had turned into a total introvert. My ex moved on and had twins and never came to see our daughter Tiffany. The pieces are not fitting together yet but I realize I have been sanctified in the hottest refiners fire possible for spiritual refinement.

I was engaged to my first love but had a prophetic ministry calling upon my life. We let our love slip away by people, strong events, his powerful father, etc. I married again but it did not work I left him expecting a daughter and moved in with my dad. My first love ended up buying a farm down the road from my dad. He found out I had gotten married so he got married. Now I am having progressive dreams he and I are married finally. The dreams are continual of things going on currently in his life. He is so lonely from a picture I saw in the newspaper as he is a prestigeous public figure he looked like he had turned into a total introvert. My ex moved on and had twins and never came to see our daughter Tiffany. The pieces are not fitting together yet but I realize I have been sanctified in the hottest refiners fire possible for spiritual refinement.

Your current marriage is a karmic relationship you have something to learn before you will be reunited with your first love your twin flame. He also is in a learning trial and karmic relationship and is not happy as he still is missing his first love...you. Continue growing in this marriage and asking what you need to learn and to grow and to be refined. When the refinement process is over so will the marriage be over and you will await your first love who will soon have learned his secret lesson about love and join you at a later date. You will be sent a sign and a message from your first love in a dream he is thinking of you day and night trying to figure out why it did not work out as he still loves you very much also but he has much to learn in the love department and how to give and receive love but its coming know that you are where you are supposed to be for right now but a more powerful reunion awaits at a later date.

it is alright to miss your first love.But you have an amazing perspective on life.Very positive

I was wondering why you ended the relationship?

I feel exactly the same way to the tee!! My story is almost the same, except I've only been married 2 months and my one true love,well I don't htink he is married yet. I miss him everyday. I love my hsband very very much. I don't regret marrying him one bit.

I have been with the same man for over five years. I love him dearly. I can see myself growing old with him....or by myself. His only down fall is he is a workaholic. My first true love was when I was around 21. I still think about him and talk to him about twice a year. We both still miss eachother and want to see eachother, but I let him know I can't because I know how much it would hurt my fiance. I do not want to hurt him, but want to see my ex so badly. <br />
Me and my ex broke up because we were in completely different places in our lives. We are six years apart his junior. I've wanted children and he didn't. I wanted marriage and he didn't. I'm now 29 and he is 36. When we do talk I feel he would love to have a relationship again, but I'm afraid that we would have the same issues. We've never talked about those issues now, but have no reason to since we're not in a relationship now. <br />
All I'm glad about is that I'm not the only one that thinks about the great past relationship.

I can't believe I finnaly found other's who feel this same way. There were so many time's I felt like the only one in the world who felt like that. I have had a very strong emotional bond to my senior year boyfriend for more then 10 years now. We dated into college and we even got engaged on Graduation day from high school, but too many miles between us for too many months put a strain on our relationship. When you are soo young, it is really hard to trust and I really regret that now. I would give almost anything to have the chance to love again like we loved each other. Since it's been soo long, I can say now that it would not necessarly have to be with him but with someone that I could have that strong of an emotional bond with. It's really made it hard for me to settle for anything less. I've been with my fiance for 7 years now and we fight all the time. It just has not clicked like it did for me then. I'm not saying it is all me or him, but I just want to feel like I did back then. Maybee it's the strain of growing up, I don't know. I just want to feel the warm glow of love again and be able to giggle with someone again.

Hello, I just joined this "community". Although the person I'm so much in love with isn't my first love(third) I feel that I will NEVER get over her. It's totally my fault because I really thought that I would be an unmarried priest or pastor serving God 100%.So she naturally backed away. It has only been 5 months since I've known her and 3 months since I've fallen in love with her but I can feel it in my heart that I will care about and love her forever. I just found out 2 days ago that she has a boyfriend now. Talk about the feelings of the "end of the world." I literally, literally think about her every second it seems. She also mentioned that we were soulmates. Goldielocks, do you think it would be appropriate for me to ask her to explain this? If I could be a soulmate,I'd be content. More than content, thrilled. I think it's wonderful that you can love a person like that. Love, a caring love, is a great thing. Peace to you and take care.

It's so sad that we will never love another like we loved our first true love. I'm over 30 now Married with two kids and I still think of my first love, My high school girlfriend. I haven't seen her in over ten years but the memory of her is burnt into my heart and mind. I saw her as true perfection and have compared all others to her and no one even came close to comparing. I feel like I settled when I got married but I have always been afraid of being alone. Things just never seem to turn out the way you want them to but you just have to make the best of it. And of course never tell your spouse that you don't love them as much as you loved your first love.

I am glad I am not the only one in that boat. Jen's story very similar to mine. We dated 5+ years. I loved him like crazy--and he made me crazy:) but I think that was part of the draw. I have been married 10 years now--2 yound children. I have a "good" life. Husband is a good father--we used to have sparks--really more like room mates now. I still have bizarre dreams about my old love! Would love to see him--but more like a fly on the wall sort of thing. I search on the net ever so often to see where he is living etc.... The worst is that I sent him an email when I found he had a my space address. Nothing more than his name and the fact that he was single was on that page-which he hadn't even been on since he opened it like 7mths ago. I had one to many glasses of wine--oh great. Sent an email--innocently enough. Hoping he was well and wishing him much happiness. Of course, the next day --after the liquid courage wore off--I was mortified. Hopefully, he won't ever check that page again. I closed that account pronto! I do really miss him---or what he used to be like--arrogance and all. I think I miss him more when I realize that my life seems hum drum. Oh well.

I have finally gotten over my first love. We had maintained a friendship over the years (long after we broke up). My husband didn't like this, but he accepted it out of his love and respect for me. As it was, I did still carry a torch for my old flame. Finally, I told him. Funny thing was--in telling him, I realized that the feelings I had for him were nothing more than a fantasy that had nothing to do with the "real him" or the actual reality of our relationship. He wasn't even that great a friend. He never asked about my kids, he didn't have any respect for the kind of life that I'm leading. I know that he looked down on me. He's very arrogant and simply enjoyed having me as a kind of cheerleader in his life. I was always there.<br />
<br />
Sometimes we idealize lost loves as a kind of escape. I don't really think that it's healthy. At least for most of us. But who knows? Once in a while first loves go on to be married and live happily ever after.<br />
<br />
Actually, i feel so free after letting go of my old obsession. And now my husband has 100% of me, not just 95%, which feels great.

the first love will always play a big part in your life and in your heart, but you need closure some how<br />
i hope you'll be happy <br />
<br />
xxx

You probably always will. It'll get better though. Sometimes, the dreams of how it would be with our first love and the reality is soo different.Cherish what you now have.<br />
Take Care<br />
Maureenb

I totally get it...I feel guilty sometimes, because I think of my first real love, a man who I had plans to marry, have children with, and everything else...but knew at the time it wouldn't be possible, we both had to grow up, it didn't seem that it was happening together so we broke up, lost touch, and a couple years later after looking for him...(with no avail) ended up turning to another man, who has always adored me, given me all that I could ask for, and wouldn't ever hurt me on purpose...knowing that and loving him deeply, we ended up married a year and a half later, we now have 3 kids, still get along as best friends do, he still adores me, and would do anything for me, i obviously didn't make the wrong decision...but at the same time, I still can't get my first love, out of my head...I wonder if it would've worked had he not moved away, had I just held out longer till I did find him, which I have now by the way...which in ways complicated things worse...I love him, I will always love him, but i made my choices and I also love and cannot imagine losing the family or life that I have now...my thoughts and dreams drive me crazy sometimes!

i know how you feel.....i will never know what could of been, i can only keep the memory in my thoughts and dreams....