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It's Taken 12 Years To Write This...

I shall never forget the 4th of July the summer I was going to be a junior in high school.  I was at our small town 4th of July celebration and there you were.  You were next to your van, dressed in white jeans and you were one of the best looking guys I’ve ever seen, strong, muscular, tanned, brown hair and brown eyes.  I was shy, but, for some reason caught your eye.  We dated the rest of the summer, you flew a spray plane.  I shall never forget while my sister and I tanned out in my parents yard you flying overhead and swooping down in your plane..  driving my parents crazy =)  As summer ended you needed to fly south.

A few years later, my sister married one of your friends.  Oh, all the weekends we spent at the lake, water skiing all day, then renting a pontoon to grill towards evening and then of course dancing whether it was on the slab by the lake or in the lodge or the parking lot after.  I still have the picture of you dancing on the pool table. Yes, we did have fun every weekend that summer didn’t we?

I remember about 3 years later how you called me when I lived about 250 miles away and told me how of all the women you ever dated you had never had as much fun as you had with me and basically told me you wanted to marry me.  I don’t know why I couldn’t… I wish I had the answer...   I enjoyed the motorcycle rides we went on that summer together.

Finally I shall never forget the last party I went to at your house you played and dedicated this song to me and described this is how you felt when you heard I had gotten married and that you still loved me 

I searched for your obituary today.. it's been 12 1/2 years.  I just wish we could have talked before you committed suicide.  I am sorry for not contacting you.. after my divorce I just had too much respect for your marriage.  I never dreamed we would never talk again, dance.  I miss your smile, your laugh, those big strong arms.  I seriously don't think a summer will ever go by that I don't think of you and hey you set the bar way too high for any other man in my life. 
 
Now I dedicate this same song to you...    Baby, you will always have a place in my heart..  I wish things could have turned out differently..   I will always love and miss you and yes, life is a...
 
"Wicked Game"

The world was on fire
No one could save me but you.
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you......
 
hoping1day hoping1day 41-45, F 6 Responses Jun 27, 2011

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Thanks Kimmy! You are right... I think now when I hear this song... it does bring back the good memories... he made me a whole cassette (yes cassette that's how long ago) tape basically of all the music we listened to when we would go out boating. I need to get that out... those songs are happier memories yet. It actually helped to write this out for me... so, thanks!

Thanks Bella! I think I feel a little sad... cuz, when I was still in HS... I fell madly in love with him... and I was always attracted, but, we did we hung out and had sooo much fun... that I don't think I realized that I loved him, so, I never told him. I had never told anyone that back then.. and he didn't directly tell me that either. Funny thing was on July 2nd... I was out at my parents riding ATV's and a spray plane was flying over and swooping down to spray. Since I had held unto this for sooo long I almost felt he sent me a sign.

How sad and yet filled with beautiful memories. You didn't do anything wrong, life happens.

Thank you Gracie... beautiful words!

Awe Thank you Kimmy! You always seem to know the right things to say. Thank you for the beautiful poem. You are right this song does seem to make me want to laugh and cry. And this song will forever hold his memory in my heart!

i understand

Thank you!