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Still Miss Her After 14 Yrs

i will never stop dreaming of her....it never goes away.  i had my chance 14 yrs ago, but let others influence my decisions.....life has brought us new partners...and children....i sometimes wonder how many kids we would of had together....i think about how good it would be just to hold her again for a brief moment...and most of all, i wonder if she ever dreams of me.....??? 
mydreams mydreams 36-40, M 410 Responses Nov 24, 2006

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I have thought of my first love for over 40 years and probably will until the day i die...When I think of him I become very sad. It is crazy I know but that is how it is. Of course, I have had long relationships

and a child but I hope to be with him at the end of this life. What would my life been like if I had never known him or if we stayed together, I will never know.....He has been married to the next woman, who happened to be very wealthy, for over 40 years..I keep waiting for him to be free....

This does happen , why not to me....Is this too much to ask..to be with my true love at the end of my life. I know he thinks of me sometimes..maybe not like I think of him ...but I was his first love too. He was in love with me so many years ago. Should I pray for this???I want it to make sense..even if it is when I am truly old..it would not matter. A day does not go by.. WHY ?

I have thought of my first love for over 40 years and probably will until the day i die...When I think of him I become very sad. It is crazy I know but that is how it is. Of course, I have had long relationships

and a child but I hope to be with him at the end of this life. What would my life been like if I had never known him or if we stayed together, I will never know.....He has been married to the next woman, who happened to be very wealthy, for over 40 years..I keep waiting for him to be free....

This does happen , why not to me....Is this too much to ask..to be with my true love at the end of my life. I know he thinks of me sometimes..maybe not like I think of him ...but I was his first love too. He was in love with me so many years ago. Should I pray for this???I want it to make sense..even if it is when I am truly old..it would not matter. A day does not go by.. WHY ?

I have thought of my first love for over 40 years and probably will until the day i die...When I think of him I become very sad. It is crazy I know but that is how it is. Of course, I have had long relationships

and a child but I hope to be with him at the end of this life. What would my life been like if I had never known him or if we stayed together, I will never know.....He has been married to the next woman, who happened to be very wealthy, for over 40 years..I keep waiting for him to be free....

This does happen , why not to me....Is this too much to ask..to be with my true love at the end of my life. I know he thinks of me sometimes..maybe not like I think of him ...but I was his first love too. He was in love with me so many years ago. Should I pray for this???I want it to make sense..even if it is when I am truly old..it would not matter. A day does not go by.. WHY ?

I have thought of my first love for over 40 years and probably will until the day i die...When I think of him I become very sad. It is crazy I know but that is how it is. Of course, I have had long relationships

and a child but I hope to be with him at the end of this life. What would my life been like if I had never known him or if we stayed together, I will never know.....He has been married to the next woman, who happened to be very wealthy, for over 40 years..I keep waiting for him to be free....

This does happen , why not to me....Is this too much to ask..to be with my true love at the end of my life. I know he thinks of me sometimes..maybe not like I think of him ...but I was his first love too. He was in love with me so many years ago. Should I pray for this???I want it to make sense..even if it is when I am truly old..it would not matter. A day does not go by.. WHY ?

This is amazing that so many people have had this type of experience. I was starting to think I might need therapy! About 4 years ago I met a woman younger than me, she in her thirties, and me in my fifties. This was a couple of years after going through a divorce after 16 years of marriage. We had a very nice two week romance. Even after all this time I'm still trying to figure out why she's had this enduring effect on me. I still dream about her, and during the course of the day I'll see things in the ways and actions of other women that trigger a memory of her. I've even composed a song on guitar for this woman!!. I'm a true romantic catastrophe as far as I'm concerned, got it baaaad!. This interferes with me going forward because she 'stays' with me so strongly. I've also had an instance where I was intimately holding another woman and thinking of her. Ahhh....the rollercoaster which is romance!!

Add me to the list. I am happily married to a man that exceeds my first love in every way. Not a week has gone by that I havent thought of him though. He was an *** really, he broke my heart and kept coming back to tromp on it for a few years after our breakup. We always thought we were 'meant to be', and fought for it, it just never worked. Anyway he got married to the 'girl after me' had kids got divorced. Meanwhile I fell for my fantastic hubby and just recently started my family. If I ran into him, I would probably be friendly but cold, yet I fantasize about him daily. Was it just the sex? My husband is better in every way. I just dont get why his memory has this vice on mind. I truly wish I could shake it lose. After 15 years it would at least save me some cyber stalking time ;)

I also think about my first love from 23 years ago and miss him so much. Although I believe my marriage has lasted with my husband because of our son, I do love him and I try everyday to be a good wife. My first love has a family and I know he is happy. I do think that there is a part of me that is still with him because he has captured my heart and soul. He is a beautiful man inside and out. He always has been since the day we first met.

I accept that we couldn't be together. Maybe next lifetime he will be mine. If not, I accept that. I had to give him up and it hurt like hell. My life was pain since I was born and, though he was willing fight with me, I couldn't see him damaged like I was. He was my bright light, my angel and my heart. No one comes close to him and no one can.

There are those who know when they have found that one love of a lifetime and he is it. I won't mope my life away because it would dishonor what we had and what I will always feel for him. It was a blessing to learn and know just how much someone as wonderful as him could love someone as challenged (and challenging) as me.

Final Note: Though he will forever be that love of my life, I know that losing him should never control my life. What we had is encouragement as to what lies ahead (whether in this life or the next)

Me too- I am happily married- even share a beautiful child together. I have dreamed-missed-longed- thought of my first love for over 22 years. We just reconnected on facebook this summer - it was my secret heartfelt wish that had finally come true after so many years. When we spoke-I pretended like I was not missing him or still in love with him- it was really difficult. I am so tired pretending that he's not in my heart. I have grieved this relationship for so many years. I continue to practice my own evolvement as a spiritual being- it seems to just open my heart more to him. When we connected this summer- I could tell from his words that he still loves me too- I'm praying for a divine solution to all of this for all individuals involved. We both have beautiful children and partners- and they are the first

commitments now. I'm practicing acceptance of this- it's not easy. I find myself coming on these sites so often praying I'll see a message from him that will indicate that he is verbalizing what I feel too. I feel like this time apart has been for learning major life lessons- and I'm waiting for God to bring us back together. I pray he finds this message someday and it speaks to clearly and perfectly to his heart. That he knows it's from my heart to his heart. I will always love him- his heart was the most

beautiful heart I've ever known.

I too miss my first love. We had a brief encounter (for 6 months) about 14 years ago as well. Which has made me wonder if you are he. Just recently (like over the past two months) I found out that he had been looking for me in our hometown (I still live there) but to know avail. Around Christmas (this past one 2010) I wrote him a letter and sent it to an APO address I found online. Well, he got the letter and called me. Expressing all kinds of love for me and in turn I did the same. What this boy and I had at 16 and 18 years old many people will never know in a million lifetimes. We spoke for about an hour on the phone. But in the end he told me he had remarried. And get this, just 6 months ago. What luck. In my heart, I still believe that there is a chance for us. It doesn't matter how many years go by, we always manage to end back up right where we started. With each other.

My first real love and I only dated for six months, though I knew her for a couple of years before that, and after we broke up I fell to pieces, and over the years she came in and out of my life to the point where I asked her to marry me, but she turned me down, took me years to get over that, but I finally got married to someone else - who happens to be a good friend of my ex, invited my ex to our wedding, and she attended on the bride's side - but I've never forgotten about my ex over the years, and I'd hear things thru the grapevine, that she had a baby by a man she didn't marry, got married to someone else, and had another kid, got divorced and married yet another guy, but anyway, a couple of years ago she and i reconnected on facebook, over 25 years on, and we got together for lunch a few times (just as friends, our spouses knew), and it was strange, but every smidgen of chemistry was still there, but the attraction wasn't at all, at least for me, and part of it was that we're no longer in the bloom of youth, but part of it was simply that we have moved on, I guess, and yet even though I no longer wish we could have ended up together, I still think of her often, and I'm just glad that we've gotten the chance to close the circle and end up as friends, years later - it's just really nice.

guess in some guess in some case notlooing back may be ok

but you see the day ilost my first love i alos losttheonly mother i truely loved



all due to stepfather thatwas an a&& *(_ and broke his promise to all if he was not dead i would make kill that way



we had spent the weekend with each other and had a great timemy pater was with his wife i was withher/him and we made the rounds in siagon 2 day later i willbe shoot down and out mother told i was not expceed to live the next day he willbe killed in a tunnel explsion 2 different men will go to her house and tellhe her son was killed sheasked to be excuse and goes in and get her gun and kills her self

my friend was a girl made in to a boy by a dr. at birth rest is a long store his mother becamm mine in 8th grade when i was beat for protecting alittle kid from a guy with a knife whenthey were lied too by his freind butit was no big del they never wnted me any way

This is all so heartbreaking. I reconnected with my "soulmate" 2 years ago. It was like magic. We couldn't believe that we found each other again. Then, suddenly he broke things off for reasons that I consider trivial. If he had told me that he lost his strong feelings for me, it would be easier. Sometimes, I wonder if I should contact him and just make him tell me that.



I am in a new relationship with a wonderful guy, and I fear that my feelings for this ex are getting in the way, but I don't know what to do. If there was a magical way to turn off my feelings for my ex and fall in love with this new guy, I'd do it. I would!



but how??????????????

I met my first love after I'd been with another guy for 3 years who I was never in love with. The only thing that had kept us together was a business we ran together. This guy who i'll never forget walked into the lounge room of another friends place and for me it was love at first sight, we became best friends instantly spending every spare moment together. I broke up with the business partner after my first love told me of his plans to travel abroad for 2 years. We spent 1 magical night together and then he was gone. I missed him so much, I didn't realize at the time how much. I didn't write to him much I just tried to forget about him any way I could. He was doing what the always wanted to do. One day I saw him again, I just wanted to hold him and never let go, instead I had to tell him

That I was pregnant to another man and was moving overseas with him. A couple of years later I called him on the eve of my wedding to tell him how I had always felt about him, we talked for ages, but before I could tell him he told me that he was now married. I was happy for him but also completely deflated. The next day I told him via email instead, and then instantly regretted it And sent an apology, he wrote and told me there was no need for apologies but that it just wasn't possible then. Now its been nearly 5 years since i last spoke to him and 10 year since we were together but ihave never been able to stop thinking about him. He was everything I ever wanted and he told me the same about him. What is making it hard now is that we have now moved back. Please know that I have tried everything I can to stop thinking about him, i have prayed so hard to stop. And now an old friend has just leet me know that he doesn't have any children yet, and has given me the complete catch up on him. I'm in agony over this guy, What should i do? does he still think about me? Btw I'm 32

I agree! My first love contacted me after 27 years! We were in love when we parted but we were too young to settle down and now it is amazing that we have reunited. He will never be out of my life even though we physically can;t be together because of our circumstances. ( kids, jobs etc) We communicate regularly and I feel amazed that this has happened to us. We have been given a second chance at our love. Follow your heart!

i was the same way I was still in love with my 1st love i thought he had forgotten about me it took me 14yrs to find him again .. we made a promise that i had forgot about till i talked him again we promised each other years ago that if we didnt marry each other we wouldnt never get married well we both kept it ... i found him on facebook 1night after i gave up on nov 9 2010...... and it feb2011 we are getting married and i never knew i could still been in love with him like i was when i was 17 yrs old but i am i lpve every min of it

I know where so many of you are coming from. I think about my only real love often. It's been 7 years already and I'll wake up sometimes and feel like the life i'm living is the wrong one. I wish I had made the decision to stay with him back then. He had to go back to England and I was too young and scared of commitment. I remember him telling me that you can get over anyone with enough time but he didn't want to get over me. The last time I spoke to him I was so mean. It hurt too much to speak to him and I couldn't keep dragging it out so I made him hate me. Feel like I'm crazy sometimes because it's been so long. I wonder if I gave him the ability to get over me while I still only have good memories of him. He was my best friend and I wouldn't have been able to let him go if I had known I'd never see him again.

25 yrs later, she contacts me on FB. She's 45 yrs old, married for 20yrs 2 almost grown kids, Husband looks like could be one of my buddies. Im happily married to a young beautiful woman 12 years, we have 2 great kids, and I have missed my ex every day of my life, so much so sometimes it makes me moan in pain. I have been with and loved many, but I have always known who my soulmate is and have never pursued it. I don't know what hurts worse, knowing how much I love her (I know she feels it too) or knowing I will never be with my soulmate. I would not go back, but damn I wish I had made better choices as a young man. I cherish the memory, and just have to deal with the pain, life moves forward.

25 years later, I have a beautiful young wife for 12 years, 2 great kids....I still think of my ex gf every day of my life. She contacted me of FB, she has been happily married for 23yrs with 2 grown kids, and I can tell she still thinks of me too. I would never consider another relationship I love and respect my wife and kids to much, but I still miss her.....every day. The pain never subsides, but her memory makes the pain bearable. I have told myself for years, "I will get past this, life goes on" and it does, I keep looking forward, but my heart always finds a way to look in the rearview. I have realized in the last few years my heartbreak is probably due to knowing I will never be with my soulmate, and I missed my shot, what if we all get a shot at our soulmate by design?...but its up to us to recognize it? I would not want to change my life, but I sure wish I had made better choices as a young man, or had at the very least been able to see past Friday nite.

Another one on the list... It's been 9 years since I talked to her 10 since we broke off our short relationship of 6 months, but gees was this girl truly a goddess to me. Not a day goes by where I don't think of her, her smile, mind, laugh even her smell. I have recurring dreams of her, and wish so badly I could turn back time. She treated me like crap, and the last time I talked to her, she told me she had a bf and not to contact her as to avoid strain on her relationship. I accepted and have not bothered her since. I checked up on fb, and looks like she has 2 kids now, and seems happy and content. I would never interfere, but it saddens me to think, if things were different they may have being my kids in those pictures with me by her side. I don't think my love for her will ever die, and because of this every women I have been with since, including my ex wife will never give me the same feelings of love and passion as she did. Hence why I've been single for over a year. Feel like I've been cursed to a life of loneliness... No idea where to turn, and now the feelings get stronger by the day :(

I miss the person i loved very much after 6 years still. now im in a relationship with a child, i just wish it was him. he made me smile so much and just being with him was all i ever wanted.



no-one can ever live up to what he was. it was such a heart breaking split. i will never forget the first tears i cried over him, the big lump in my throat, the ripping up his poems to me and photos on my bedroom floor.



the whole time we were together was like a movie. we has such a good time together.

i think about him all the time and wonder what he's doing now. he still lives close, but i'm too afraid to call or visit. i think i'm better off with the memories i have now, rather than dragging up the past and trying to create new ones only to be let down.



xxx

I miss the person i loved very much after 6 years still. now im in a relationship with a child, i just wish it was him. he made me smile so much and just being with him was all i ever wanted.



no-one can ever live up to what he was. it was such a heart breaking split. i will never forget the first tears i cried over him, the big lump in my throat, the ripping up his poems to me and photos on my bedroom floor.



the whole time we were together was like a movie. we has such a good time together.

i think about him all the time and wonder what he's doing now. he still lives close, but i'm too afraid to call or visit. i think i'm better off with the memories i have now, rather than dragging up the past and trying to create new ones only to be let down.



xxx

I have been going through this today. Its been 8 years for me and she has been married for 7 of those. I miss her so much. I had a dream lat night that we were together. I woke up and was crushed. I know how it feels.

move on.. use your choices not your friends, not your family.. be strong.. influences by others isnt good . if thats how you feel for your first love .. then do what your heart tells you ... its up to you..

I met my first love when I was 17 and we were together 3 years. We split as I went to University and met new friends. He tried his hardest to win me back but I was never interested. I loved the excitement and didn't realise what I had with my first love. After two relationships of 11 years and 4 years I realised I was searching for the love I had with my first ever love.



After a year of being single and dating, I joined a professional business site to establish my business, the next day of joining my first love sent me a message through the site. He had found me. We emailed a couple of times and we talked on the phone for 6 hours. We arranged for him to come and see me and it was like we had never been apart, we looked a little older but it was love at first sight. He said he has always thought about me and compared every girlfriend to me.



I am a little cautious as we hurt each other so deeply when we were together the first time but I have never felt the love for anyone else which i feel for him. We can be in each others arms without even speaking, its like we are the only people in the world.



I'm not sure what the future holds for us but I feel like I have come home and found my other half.



Don't ever give up on your soul mate, it is all about timing, if its meant to be it will be.

I lost my true love my soul mate about 21 years ago, our families were against our relationship and were separated after that things got really bad I tried to see her again because it was killing me i did see her but my family sent me to another country to life with a sister of mine, i never went back to my country, I was living with my sister but never forget my love she was always in my heart but my life continued and I was just 26 when he meet the woman who i married and had two children together perfect life we were married nine years at the end of 9 years divorce three years later I was on the net facebook the name of my first love came to my head at that moment i began to feel difirente my heart began beating as never had been beaten before then just write her name on facebook does not take long it was at my first and then there she was my love my soul mate i press on her name after I sent a friend invitation, and looked in her photos and my tears fall for my face when I looked into your eyes my heart explude i started to feel emotion in side me i cant explind with words then star feel not good it was too much to bear then I tried to stay calm I looked again at your picture and then closed the facebook I went to bed that night i stay awake all night i only start sleeping in the morning I woke up almost 12:00 in the afternoon I washed my face made same the coffee took a cigarette and then i switche the laptop on went to facebook and soon noticed she had accepted my invitation and also left a message that said I knew that one day you're gonna come back my love my soul mate I was paralyzed for a moment, then that day we talk on messenger we are already talking about two weeks and four days from now she comes to me, another thing my 2 boys 1 with 5years other with 9years they are the reason i never came back becose they are my life and over 4 days it will be complete this is my story can be big but for know its ok and for all lovers up there i wish that my spirit of love and my story brings same happiness in your hearts for a momento and keep fighting you never know in till you try never give up work hard and do your best you in get the good luck for all of you every 1 need to be love ciao

I miss my first love too but I'm married and going throught some stuff with my husband. I don't know if it's because my husband and I are having problems or not. My first love broke up with me because my mom got in the way and my mom has apologized to me on more than one occassion. The relationship was great; no fighting, no hollaring, no abusing...........it was kind of perfect.

I am now talking to one of my est friends about htis. My ex and Ireconnected about a year ago. He is the LOVE OF MY LIFE. We broke up because he wasn't ready to handle me at 22. I was a serious relationship. When I tried to get back, he just wasn't interetsed, so I movd on. I wish I would have tried again. We would see each other from time to time, but I wnated more. After we reconnected after 15 years, I still feel the same for him and I think he still cares for me. He is married and I am too. We see each other from time to time in passing. The last time we stopped to talk was 2 months ago and he hugged me so long. I could tell he still loves me, but what can we do. I am now moving on because it hurst really bad to know that every evening, he goes home to someone else. But I chose my life and he chose his...now we have to live with it.

If there was anything that i could do, i would kill all of u ppl altogether.Have u ever wondered how u would feel if you come to know that the person u are married to now,has a similar tale to share?

We never stop silently loving the ones we have loved.But that is that.I too have lost my first love years ago.I have recooped frm suicidal tendencies and depression that accompanied his loss.Now, after 5 years,I am happily married and have a husband i love.I do not think i will ever want to remember, dream of or want to meet or know anything about anybody other than my husband.If i ever dream of my ex,i will consider it my worst nightmare.

Unconditional LOVE is INCLUSIVE~ meaning it includes everyone (children, partners, yourself, your first love) It's not to say that because my heart loves one person unconditionally that it cannot love another. The heart has its own intelligence and is WISE~ it's the mind (EGO) that wants to put limits on the boundaries of the love and judge/criticize it, control it, suppress it," etc. This time period is ALL ABOUT HEART ENERGY~ which is why it is so fascinating that people are feeling this energy ~ and following it to their first loves.... I cannot speak OR judge others situations because I do not know where they have been, what obstacles they are facing in their lives, and what lessons they are working through in this life. One thing is for sure~ this TIME is ALL about LOVE~ love yourself, AND follow your heart. I don't feel it's about abandoning the one you're with because maybe they are not in touch with the new heart energy~ my feeling is that the plan for each of us is much more complex then we can see from where we sit. Some of us have gotten married to fulfill our karma from past lives, and when that is fulfilled we will part. Some of us have gotten married to bring certain children into the world and then will part. Some of us have gotten married for life. It's different for everyone~ and in divine order as it's up to each one of our individual's soul to decide what's next. Have you noticed how many people are departing in divorce and death right now? The soul is the only one who can decide if it wants to remain here as part of the new heart energy that is unfolding on our planet. We are all on this planet during a very interesting time for sure~ wishing every person the best on their journey in following the truth of their hearts!

Bella70, unless he has said "I don't think of you like that anymore", you cannot say what he thinks. men are different than women. Women tend to internalize things and try to anmalyze everything.Men don't. they think, 'there is nothing i can do about it so I won't say anything". What helped me was that I talked to men who were around the same age as my ex and who had the same family life. They can tell you what he is thinking or what they believe he is thinking. Just like if a man asked you about a woman they love.