Missing Myffriend

I am feeling really lonely today. I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't have anyone to tell me it's going to be ok. 17yrs ago I lost the one person in my life who understood me. My best freind, the love of my life, was shot and killed by a friend of ours at the age of 13. I had a dream about him dying a few weeks before. When I told him about it he looked at me n said everything will be ok. I will never leave you. It haunts me to this day. Everyday feels like it happened yesterday. There's not a day that goes by that he's not on my mind. We had so many plans n dreams.He was my whole life. I lived for him. We were inseperable. He's the only one who truely knew me n the only one who has ever cared. I feel soo empty without him. My heart will never be whole again n nothing will ever fill this void.I feel like I have died with him. My world has been turned up side down. I had to leaarn how to breath again. I had to learn how to go on with my life when I felt like I was paralyzed in this one moment. Although life goes on my heart will always be lost in time. The only thing that keeps me going is my children. Before he passed we had a talk about kids n I told him I would carry on his name. Kind of like he knew his time was up. about 9yrs later I had a boy n gave him the most precious name. I carried on my friends wishes n I like to believe that he knows n is watching over us like a guardian angel.....