What Should I Do?

Well, when i was in junior high i started liking this girl, she was very beautiful, gorgeous eyes, body. I figured i could never be able to go out with her. She was the type of girl to wear skirts, tight blouses, she was quite popular too, I use to joke around with my friends that i can go out with her. We were near the end of the school year and the school dance was approaching, it is always on a friday. I always go to school dances, when i got there i saw her, i was very pleased and told myself i had to dance with me no matter what. I started staring at her for quite a long time and eventually i took some courage and grabbed her to dance, afraid of rejection, she looked at me and without opening her mouth she looked away and we started dancing , we danced for like 3 songs then she went to her friends and so did I. On Monday i started seeing her more, on the halls, stairs and we always exchanged looks, classes came to an end, while in bus a friend of mine came and asked me if i knew the girl and i was like no, he said she is in my class and likes you. I was really surprised and happy, and i continued seeing her more and more, on Thursday her bestfriend made us talk, turns out she was quite shy she started blushing, me being a pretty shy guy as well, I got some courage to ask her to go to the movies with me of friday. On friday in my last period class a female friend of mine came to me asked if i'm going out with the girl and i told her yea, we going to the movies today, then i asked her why and she said that the girl is a player. I didnt know what that meant, not to make a full of myself i acted as if i knew. After the class had ended i was waiting for her so we could talk about the date, her bestfriend approached me and told me that the girl was a player, so i asked her what it meant, she was surprised that i didn't know what it meant so she called one of my friends to explain to me. My friend explained to me in the worst way possible,this is what he told me "it means that she is going out with you and other guys at the same time and that she likes other guys, when im with her she is thinking of other guys". i had heard of the term player but i never thought it meant that, I know my friend exaggerated That, but i wasnt aware back then. I was very disappointed in myself, i felt really stupid because i was already developing deep feelings. After that hearing that i decided to do a little payback and stood her up. On Monday she disappeared i hardly use to see her and whenever i tried talking to her she would never talk back, I felt really bad i apologized but she wouldn't  forgive me, i realized that she wasn't a player it was the fact the she had like 3 boyfriends that people were saying she was a player anywayzs, the second school dance was approaching, i knew she was going to be there so i went , while in dance she kept dancing with the same guy song after song and all i did was stare at her i just stared at her the whole dance, i was mad about myself for letting her go she kept looking at me, it seems as if she was sad but they kept dancing. So i decided to talk to her on monday and tell her about everything, when i went to talk to her i saw her kissing the guy she was dancing with, it was devastating and i decided that the best thing was just to forget about everything, in my head i kept saying in high school if she is single i will ask her out, to my deception her father got transferred to another country and the whole family was going, i felt as if losing her again, since we were in the summer and she had really protective parents so she hardly went online. I never had the chance to tell her bye and that i loved her. Its been about 4 years since i havent seen or spoken to her, but all the sudden i keep thinking about her, checking her photos on fb. She is never online so its really hard to comunicate with her. I keep wishing i could go back in time and make the right decisions, i believe i have lost her and i will never be able to get her back, although its only 8 hours away from the country im at to the country she is at. Still, i already tried my best to forget her but as yall see i was pretty unsuccessful at it. I seriously dont know what to do.  I'm now 17 and she is 16. this happened when i was 13 and she was 12. Sometimes i think that she has forgotten about all of this. So guys what should i do? Thank you for reading...
district17 district17
18-21, M
1 Response Aug 23, 2012

I think you should message her on FB. Why not? It seems as though we always regret the things in life we didn't do more than the things we did do. If you never message her, you will always wonder...... Good luck!

Thank You Very Much for the help, i will certainly try that.