I Feel So Lucky And Blessed To Have A Second Chance With My One True Love!

Wow, let's see here. How to start this? Basically, things with my first love, Jennifer, have improved a GREAT deal and I'm kind of…indescribably ecstatic! :D

Jen and I, we talked. I traveled up to where she lives (after she moved away many years ago) and we actually had a face‒to‒face meeting. We had dinner. It's really really hard to believe it's even real. Jen's mother, who was the one who forced us apart back then, has done a complete 180. Some people were telling me that, well, after she survived a major heart attack, her attitude might be different, and I think they were right about this event making her reexamine her life, in fact, she pretty much said that. Her mother said she would encourage Jen to have me in her life! What's more, Jen said she'd be open to hanging out again, in person. She hates trying to talk on the phone or internet though, I have to be there, she says. So now I just have to get up there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

I'm just unbelievably happy. And shocked. I was crying tears of joy. I love her so much, I almost can't believe I'm going to get to have her in my life again, it seems too good to be true. I hope it lasts this time. Of course, it's not like we're back together or anything yet, but, still, this is everything I've hoped and prayed for, and more.

I don't want to push her at all, though. There was some bad news too, which is that her mother wasn't totally wrong when she told me years back about her mental state — it really IS less than great. I could tell that she had mixed feelings about me being there. She seemed happy but also nervous and uncomfortable at the same time. I tried to just smile at her, make eye contact occasionally, we did hug briefly. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable at all, or try to make anything move faster than she was ready for.

I planned the trip, and the upcoming move, of course, but I had no idea if it would go the way I hoped or not. I was there about 2, maybe 2 and a half hours. It was beyond incredible, but…in a way, it's like we're starting over fresh again. Wiped the slate clean. Which is kind of what I wished for, in a way. We still have our memories of when we were first in love, obviously, but now I feel like maybe we can fall in love again, as adults, without the baggage or obstacles of that whole “young love” thing.

I mean, its not really that I'll ever be okay with this hell I've been through for the past decade or so, but I just hope it's finally over and behind us; but yeah, I mean…I don't exactly know what comes next or where things go from here, but the one thing I DO know, or at least feel, is that I've finally got my second chance I've worked so hard and hoped so long for. Now it's up to me to make it count. :)

I don't know exactly when I'll see her again but, at least now I feel like a great weight has been lifted, just knowing that I CAN see her. Now I am just trying to focus 100% on getting this stupid house sold, so I can actually move up to where she is and begin my new life with her, the one I've fantasized and dreamed about for so very long, but was never sure if it would ever again be more than just a dream or a fantasy — I never gave up the hope, though, and now — I guess this is my reward. :D So hopefully, now, well eventually anyway, I think, things will end up okay. I hope.
IWillBurnThisWorldToCinders IWillBurnThisWorldToCinders
2 Responses Sep 21, 2012

Good News!... Great Advice " Dare" take it step by step and Enjoy...

Hey, I'm really happy for you. Haven't heard anything about you in a long time. Take things slow with her, and let things rekindle slowly. Wishing you all the very best!

Ccarnut97, thank you very much! Dare, thank you so much too! I know I haven't talked in awhile, it was because I was so 100% focused on making this reconnection with my beloved one happen. I most definitely will take things slowly with her this time. I don't want to make ANY mistakes. I just want to be grateful for this second chance, and make it count for all it's worth — and it's worth everything, to me. How are things going with you?