My Best Friend, My First Love.

We went to church together for years but it started when we were at a church convention & the girl he had a crush on got a boyfriend & everyone in our youth group was asking what was wrong with him but me.. I just ignored him cause I thought he was a freak. But eventually he(Tyler*) came up to me & started talking to me & then telling me about the girl & I helped him figure out what to do.. They were back together within a week, but after that we just got closer & closer. When the summer mission trip came along, we became inseparable. It was like right after me & my long term boyfriend broke up for good & he was still calling me cussing me out. Tyler found me skipping dinner, sitting by myself crying & he made sure I knew none of it was true. A few days later he kissed me for the first time. On the bus ride home we held hands on the back of the bus & I slept on his shoulder & we ran around making fun of each other & just had so much fun, but when he asked me out I said no. We remained close and every time I got a boyfriend he would quit talking to me for a few days then tried asking me out & I always said no. But we always flirted & he was always there for me. He was by far my best friend ever. & then when we worked on the church haunted house, I was on a ladder on the 2nd floor over a rail & he got so mad cause he thought I was gonna fall & he told me he would kill himself jumping over to make sure I was okay. But then then he found out I started dating someone& he got extremely mad, like more mad than ever & he grew to be just plain mean to me & I called him out on it & he got mad & told me I wouldn't give him a chance so it didn't matter & I retorted with, "Oh so i don't matter to you?" & he said no, I care about you. It just don't matter if you're with Aaron right now because in the end, you're going to be with me & I asked what are you talking about & he said i swear, I'm gonna marry you one day. I laughed while asking what made him so sure but when he said when it's the one you just know, i realized he was right. And I think that's when I started falling for him. We got close then one night we got in a huge fight, the biggest one we'd ever been in. He wanted nothing to do with me, wouldn't speak to me, told his best friend if he wanted me he could have me, flirted with other girls in front of me, even told me he didn't really love me.. But my youth minister ended up making me bring him home that night. It was right when I got my license & I had to go downtown where i didnt know streets so he came with me & at first we didn't talk but then after a while he told me we had to. He told me he cared about me, but I wouldn't give him a chance. & that he loved me but that he thought maybe those feelings were gone & had been for a long time. But then I started crying & he told me that if I would give him a chance, he would make it work & I told him I couldn't cause I was with someone & he was going into the Airforce & he just held me. & he told me he loved me & he wanted to be with me & he would do anything for it to work & he wanted to spend his time left with me. & he kissed me, but I still said no. & I wanted to be with him, but i stayed with my boyfriend.. being treated like crap instead. Well when i finally did break up with the bad boyfriend, Tyler* happened to call me.. About someone hurting his sister & he thought it was me. & we talked for hours & we were going to skip school together, but we never did. He kept making sure I was okay & he came to church that Wednesday only to give me a shoulder to cry on if I needed it. When he left that night, he wouldn't even talk to me barely.. He didnt give me a hug or anything. The next day he asked me out & I said I wasn't over the breakup yet & I didn't wanna be with someone who did drugs(Tyler* was known for partying). I didn't know he had quit..for me. We got in a huge fight & I was thinking whatever, we'll make up at church on Sunday. Well the last message of the argument was about 10 minutes before I heard about the wreck. & about 15 before I found out he was killed. I'm only 17 years old. He was only 18, but I know that it was more than a crush. We were together for almost 3 years. Not officially, but more so than any "real" relationship I had been in. It's been almost one year and i still cry daily knowing what could be different.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 16, 2013