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My First Time Recognizing That I Was Being Manipulated, But Didn'T Care.

My first love was actually love at first site. To me it was illogical, but for some reason when i first saw her short black hair , brown eyes, and killer smile, i started to think about her a lot. This was when i moved up north from the south at about 11. I met her when i was twelve, but was so nervous to ask her out that it took 3 years. We always debated about interesting topics on politics, morals, etc. She was incredibly intelingent which really got my engine running being a brainiac myself. we really didn't become physical until the first dance of the semester. We stood next to each other, chuckling a bit when our eyes met. During the last slow song i decided to be bold and kiss her. It was a 15 make out session. Now I actually know what people mean when they say their legs "were like jello." I almost thought she slipped me a roofie or a benzo, but it was real. However it was one thing she said that changed everything, she said that she loved me and she said it first. Here is the list of what transpired that put me through hell. these are also facts i've should of considered
1. At first she wanted me to set her up with my friend
2. Manipulated me into doing it when i saw she was writing I <3 D--N in her note book, she knew i was looking bait me into doing it.
3. She faked being niave when she asked me if i believed in love at first site, lieing through her teeth
4. She had an entourage of friends that hated me
5. Turned people against me
6. Asked someone else to tell me that we're breaking up
7. Then she wanted me to set her up with another one of my friends

There is still one part that i can't understand. Why do i still think about her a lot. My theory is the neurotrasmitter Dopamine was at the highest point when i met her. So no matter what i saw, it stuck with me since all adiction starts with one moment of bliss then doing whatever you have to just to experience it again.

First love, first date, first dance , first kiss, first experience of many that will deepen my or hinder my understanding of how most women can be cruel and will act on thier own volition.
DpoolyASSpie DpoolyASSpie 26-30, M Feb 12, 2013

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