Kenny

My first love was a man ten years older than me,I was fifteen.My friends did not think he was cute so I always tried to avoid him when they were around.Dont take this wrong,he never tried to do anything with me at all.But he acted like I was the most beautiful girl ever.He bought me flowers and gifts and always always was there for me.My family liked him and his family liked me.It would have been a great relationship. BUT I had just had a bad experience with some of my friends crying statuatory rape against a family friend(turned out that he just mooned them through a fourth floor window) and the allegations ruined the poor man.I wanted to be with Kenny so bad,but I loved him too much to risk putting him in the same situation.I never explained it too him,and it really hurt his feelings.I can be a real ***** when I start pushing someone away.I swore that when I got older,I would try to reconcile.But my family moved away and then when I turned eighteen,I got pregnant.I knew he would take me back and claim my baby as his own without question,but I was stuck in the belief that God would want me to stay with the guy who got me pregnant(bad choice).Now that I am divorced,it is too late.I have spent all this time waiting for the right time and it is too late.At the age of thirty four my first real love died unexpectedly in his sleep a month ago.I never gave him a chance.I have so many memories of him that are so bittersweet,I wish I would have told him that I loved him.
blackcat blackcat
22-25, F
1 Response Jul 4, 2007

Kinda a wierd story but cheers!