my first love called me last night. completely out of the blue. i didnt answer and i didnt call him back. we have a friendship now. but when he's gone i can only think about him. when i do see him, i realize how much i do love him, but he's happily with another very fantastic girl. i can't hang out with him any longer. i feel as though i sit around and wait for a chance to get together or even just talk to him, and then i'm back on the floor. i can't keep doing this. i don't know if it's better to have him in my life and suffer, or never see him, and miss him so very much.