Fist Mover AdvantageFreshman year of high school, i'm a freshman, he's a senior. Only problem is, my best friend is "in love with him". His family jokes that she is stalking him, but the truth of the matter is, i can't say anything about it since i only became friends with him through her.
I fell pretty hard, the first day we spoke, but then soon realized its impossibility. We became friends, nothing more. Almost a few drunken nights, but now we just don't drink together.
Four and a half years later, the topic of romance came up in my mind again. Things were getting close to being something, when i leave for vacation. Day one - we talk for an hour. Day two - forty five minutes. Day three - a half hour. Day four - ten minutes. Day five - not at all.
I did not speak to him for nearly a week and a half, and I became curious so I asked his mother what was going on.
He has a new girlfriend, they started dating the day I first went without speaking to him. I was gone for a week and I lost my opportunity. She is an older version of me, we instantly became friends -which made the whole situation significantly worse- talked every night on AIM, talked on the phone, called each other our twins.
He was simply dating an older version of me, it killed me. I lost him -can i get him back? no its over. Sean is gone forever to this girl, he is now married and has two beautiful children, and we are still great friends. I had my chance and I did not make the first move, I couldn't, I'm just not that type of girl, and I blew it because she did.
He was my first love and my only ever lost love. It makes it so that i never simply wait anymore, I take the ball into my field and I make the first move. I am no longer willing to lose a love -but there has bever been someone even closes to Sean; and there's no way to go back now and change my actions, and so forever it is a regret.
lostlovelife 26-30, F 3 Responses 4 Feb 13, 2006