Fist Mover Advantage

Freshman year of high school, i'm a freshman, he's a senior. Only problem is, my best friend is "in love with him". His family jokes that she is stalking him, but the truth of the matter is, i can't say anything about it since i only became friends with him through her.

I fell pretty hard, the first day we spoke, but then soon realized its impossibility. We became friends, nothing more. Almost a few drunken nights, but now we just don't drink together.

Four and a half years later, the topic of romance came up in my mind again. Things were getting close to being something, when i leave for vacation. Day one - we talk for an hour. Day two - forty five minutes. Day three - a half hour. Day four - ten minutes. Day five - not at all.

I did not speak to him for nearly a week and a half, and I became curious so I asked his mother what was going on.

He has a new girlfriend, they started dating the day I first went without speaking to him. I was gone for a week and I lost my opportunity. She is an older version of me, we instantly became friends -which made the whole situation significantly worse- talked every night on AIM, talked on the phone, called each other our twins.

He was simply dating an older version of me, it killed me. I lost him -can i get him back? no its over. Sean is gone forever to this girl, he is now married and has two beautiful children, and we are still great friends. I had my chance and I did not make the first move, I couldn't, I'm just not that type of girl, and I blew it because she did.

He was my first love and my only ever lost love. It makes it so that i never simply wait anymore, I take the ball into my field and I make the first move. I am no longer willing to lose a love -but there has bever been someone even closes to Sean; and there's no way to go back now and change my actions, and so forever it is a regret.
lostlovelife lostlovelife
26-30, F
3 Responses Feb 13, 2006

i was going to say exactly that while i was reading, "everything happens for a reason"<br />
its a firm belief of mine, chin up! xxx

d thing is,me too in dat situation now.......i can feel ur CHANTALLE said,everything happens for a all d best to u....take care........

i am really sorry to hear that he's married now...but honestly..i know exactly how u feel..the only difference is that my guy is not married yet.we feel bad because we let the moment passed us by.we didn't grab the opportunity that we for me...i always look at things this way...."they happen for a reason"...wish u all the best!