Just Wonder About Him a Lot

I don't know if I can really say that I miss my first love but I just think about him quite a bit. I wonder if he's married with kids or if he's still single. I don't think we parted on good terms. I know I hurt him. I didn't mean to. When we were dating he was diagnosed as bi-polar. He had to go into a mental hospital for a time. I tried to help him and be there for him but he just acted really strange sometimes. We broke up and we didn't see each other for a while until he came to my high school graduation party. I only talked to him for 5 minutes. I just wanted to see how he was doing. After that night he began calling me and talking about getting back together. He even proposed marriage. I tried to figure out a way to tell him that I was not interested. While I was doing that he found out that I was marrying someone else. He called me and he asked me about it. I finally told him the truth. He tried to pretend he wasn't hurt. I bought it. Then later he showed up at my house a few months after I was married. He was extremely upset. He was borderline psycho. I was living with my parents at the time. They made me hide in the bedroom. They told him I wasn't home. My new husband was very angry. But my father told him to be calm. He didn't want any fighting in his house. My dad said he would take care of it. I stayed in the bedroom. I could here my ex cussing and hollering. He said he was depressed because he couldn't have me. He said his whole life was falling apart. I felt really bad for him. My parents got rid of him and I never saw him again. I still wonder what happened to him. I hope he was able to get his life together. I still feel guilty for hurting him. I wonder if he ever thinks about me.

HurricaneLeia HurricaneLeia
26-30, F
Feb 11, 2009