This Love Will Never Die

I thought I forgot all about him. I thought the deep feeling of love I had for him died, but I was so wrong. We struggled through a long distance relationship when we were 16-18 years old and back then it was really difficult to keep in touch, however we were spending holidays and especially our summer vacations together. Everything was perfect when we were together, but as soon as I was back home we did not manage to keep in touch, I guess he was too lazy. But I still loved him. Eventually it died out, without a proper ending. We never fought, we never said good-bye. Maybe that's why I'm still inlove with him.

We both went our separate ways, it's been 3 unsuccessful relationships and many years later that I found out he wanted to get in touch with me, he wanted to see me. He's been married for many years and without a child. The moment I heard this my stomach felt like there were tousands of butterflies stoming in it. Faith made it that I met him, even though I did not actively seeked him and he had to travel a long way to se me. I was prepared to see him and I did not feel much emotions, just felt the urge of jumping in his arms and kissing him. But I didn't. I thought about his marriage and my own relationship, now almost 3 years old. I wanted to do it so much though. I thought he must still feel love for me since he travelled so much to see me for a few hours and at the end of the day I could see he parted with difficulty. We could not speak openly since we were not alone, but we exchanged phone numbers.

Now I'm afraid I'll sabotage the existing relationship I'm in. I'm still inlove with my fisrt love and even though I'm trying to burry deep down my feelings I don't want to do it. So I think I'll not be successful at it.

Would love to spend some quality time with him to just talk about what happend and how our lives developed over the years. Maybe that will help me understand if I'm still in love with the old him or just with him. But I don't want to ruin his marriage, so I decided to wait. I'm wondering: is that a good plan?

ralucasan ralucasan
31-35, F
1 Response Feb 18, 2009

i think you should give another try. if he risked his marriage just to see you than maybe he does really care.<br />
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p.s first love is never really over=) good luck