"What Else Is There"

One song, tears into my soul, faster than a bullet through my body. "What else is there" Royksopp, it always reminds me of my first love. I want to go back, but I know he'd never take me back. If it were a perfect world, I'd of never left in the first place. The first 6 times was him trying to cut me off, and after that it went back and forth. “We cover distance, but not together, I am the storm, and I am the wonder, and flashlights, and sudden explosions”

If he'd of been classified as "Normal" we'd still be together, he didn't want a committed relationship.

I know I can do better, but better isn't what I want. Better is never "Complete". It's why we have to accept people for who they are, because of who they are, because theres no one quite like them. The Value of a person, as a person, is the lesson I learned. maybe in another life, we'd of been able to be together, but it'll never be the same way it was.

All my good memories are tainted, my youth, my lack of experience, our arguments, conflicts, ext. I wish things were different, but who doesn't. It's not fair to anyone I pursue after him, because I'll compare every one to him. I'm half the girl I once was, and I'll never be the same person again. I just wish I could move on, without comparing to everything that once was. His skin was dryer than it used to be, his bed creaked more than before, but it still smelled the same, he still felt good next to me. I just wish he'd of held me, or asked me to stay. I understand a deal is a deal, but I'm not well.

Ravenjeanette Ravenjeanette
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 18, 2009

I know exactly how you feel. My first love is my daughters dad. . Its truly hard to see him each and every day knowing he is with another woman and knowing that I still love him. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we would have gotten married because it would have been for the best. But we had that one fight that broke us apart and it will never be the same. Though, I think about it all the time. <br />
I also whenever I am around another guy compare them outloud to him. It always pushes them away. I wont ever be the same because hes always on my mind. So I definitely know what your feeling but how to fix it I have completely no idea. I wish I knew.