I have only ever loved truly loved 2 women in my life.

My first love I met when i was 15 we had something special i dont know how to put in to words what we had but it was truly wonderful the only problem was that it was a long distance relationship.

My second love i met when i was 19 and still involved with my first love, buy the time i was 20 i had married my 2nd love and my first little girl was born,

At 24 i was the father of 2 beautiful girls and was happily married and was also still involved with my first love (yes she knew about my wife and children) but i knew that carrying on the relation ship with my first love was not fair to her or my wife and children 
and so i sat down with my first love and and we talked about what we have and where we are going etc and we both agreed that it was better to remain friends and thats all.

Now here i am at 30 and my wife is divorcing me and my first love is getting married, I dont know if i should laugh or cry but its really f*$#ing ironic. I still love them both so much, but my wife wants nothing to do with me and my second love we still keep in contact and as much as i want to tell her whats happened and see her face to face i dont want to jepordise the relationship she has made for herself.

I miss her so much.

I could wander for days and days
When im lost in your gaze
the eyes of an angel
the body of a goddess
this is a perfect description
of my lioness.







volente volente
26-30, M
3 Responses Feb 21, 2009

Hey guys,<br />
Thanks for the advice I know its been a while since i first posted this so i thought i should tell you hows its going.<br />
Ok i didnt tell her because when i wrote this i was heading to a bad place infact i broke all comunication with her and the few decent people in my life, and just when things were at their worst she actually came looking for me concerned because she had not heard from me so i told her my tale.<br />
<br />
So far i suppose you could say that we are more than just friends but we are not lovers, and from here we will see where it goes.

I agree, what have you got to lose? Let her know how you feel, what you're thinking and let her decide if she wants to give it a go with you.<br />
<br />
I know several people in a situation just like yours, kicking themselves for marrying the wrong person, staying too long with the wrong person, not speaking up to their first love and making more and more barriers rather than just doing it....tell her how you feel, what you are dreaming of, and see what happens

Hey guy - take my advice - tell your first love what's happening! I have been right where you are now (except I'm a woman) - I didn't tell either for the same reasons you give. He got married - I got remarried to someone else. He got divorced after four years - and I nursed my second marriage along for 14 years. By the time we wound up together (because out love was there from age 13 on and you don't get away from that) - but so much of our lives had gone by - we'd lived them with others and it caused us a lot of pain. In the end, we didn't make it because he couldn't get past our past .... he kept thinking "why wasn't I the one you spent those years with - why aren't your kids my kid - and he just couldn't deal. You owe it to her to trust her and let her make the decision on this. TELL HER!