I could sit here for hours and write about him, but what would that do? It would give me a sense of nostalgia and a surge of depression that would leave me in tears for the rest of the night, because eventually, writing this I would have to face the fact that everything that 'was', 'isn't' anymore. Everything that I loved about 'us' was destroyed. Sitting here and writing about all the good times and all the bad times and all the weird 'I'm not into this' times… it would be so easy, I could make lists and lists and never stop until every second of my life with him in my heart and vice versa was on this post, but that wouldn't help me. I'd rather talk about now.

I'd rather talk about now, but what is there to talk about. He, I'm sure, has moved on and has his eyes on someone better than I am. Perhaps skinnier, perhaps not. Perhaps it's about the looks, or about the religion, about the fact that they have yet to **** up. There's a lot of reasons, maybe he doesn't even have someone else. The only thing is, he doesn't have me. And he doesn't want me.

It's been almost a year and a half. When does this "You'll get over it," event that everyone talks about happen? How long do I have to sit and dwell before my mind and heart come to an agreement. Mind says "Dude, he's not coming back." But my heart? Stupid heart won't come to terms with the fact that he's not coming back. Ever. Even if there's a fire. (Step Brother's quote.. ahhhhhhhh.;).) But not everything in life is meant to be, you know? Not everything is supposed to go your way. It's LIFE for Christ's sake. We came down here to suffer so we could appreciate Heaven just a little more.
MissAutumn MissAutumn
18-21, F
Aug 22, 2014