I Missed Her So Badly, I Just Wished She Missed Me.

I first fell in love 14 years ago to a beautiful young lady. Maybe it was because I was so young and naive but I honestly thought she felt the same way about me. She ended up leaving me for her eventual husband but I always hoped that I held a special place in her heart. For years I would think of her and wonder if she ever thought of me. Well this week after having no communication with her all this time I finally made contact with her via email. I told her how greatful I was for the chance to meet her and how doing so made me a better person and prepared me for the eventual relationship with my spouse. I thought I was being thoughful and sincere but all I was doing was opening myself up for more hurt. Her response to my lenghty letter was a 3 sentence response that basically said "I dont care, but thanks for the letter anyways". Oh why have I cared so greatly for a person who obviously never really cared for me. I feel so foolish and ashamed.

broke11495 broke11495
31-35, M
8 Responses Mar 24, 2009

vincam89 you are completely right! After a week of thinking about it I do not feel foolish anymore and I have finally been able to close that chapter in my life. <br />
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Her husband was a complete jerk way back when so I am sure they are perfect for each other. :)

This speaks more about her lack of character than your “foolish” or “shameful” behavior. Even if she didn’t feel the same about you, any person with a sense of empathy or compassion for another human being would not respond in such a self centered way; especially not someone who shared an intimate relationship with another person. I didn’t feel as deeply for my first boyfriend as he did for me. But, when we spoke 18 years later, I was happy to hear from him and appreciated our time together. I could never say anything that would hurt him. I think you should be grateful for her response. It provides complete closure and should remind you why you’re lucky to have found a wonderful wife. Just image how she treats her poor husband

Holy crap that would completely CRUSH me if I said that and thats how my first love responded to me after so long, I just have no idea how I would react.. I thank god that my first love is very friendly towards me 2 years after the fact.. Your the bigger person for sure and since your married yourself now you should just let this incident make you more certain of your relationship with your wife. In the famous words of Paul McCartney.. "let it be, let it be"

I feel your pain. I did the same thing and got a 5 word reply and blocked from contacting the person. I was left feeling hurt and confused. After our breakup we were friendly to each other this response was quiet the slap in the face. But that was a while ago trust me you will heal and move on in time.

Never regret the past. We shud learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat it. Future is bright, try to find that spark who will light up ur life forever.

I know exactly how you are feeling. I have gone through what you are going through right now. Don't feel foolish or ashamed for what did. It's not worth it. It's only going to prolong the pain you are feeling. I know too many that had gone down the same route. Please don't let what she said to you affect you. Her response is probably not what you were expecting. Well, at least you expressed a positive thought. <br />
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Just be glad that you are able to love so deeply and have learned so much from it. Now, I hope you can let go of the past, and live in the "now" moment. I know you must be tired.<br />
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And I hope you are not neglecting what's happening in your life right now. I have lost someone that can potentially be as special, if not more, as my first love. I didn't even notice it until I finally let go of the past. <br />
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I'm pretty sure she will always be special to you. All the memories that you had with her will always be with you. No one can take that away from you. <br />
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I wish you the very best with your situation!

Yeah dont feel foolish and ashamed. You express that you feel, and feel blessed that you were able to feel so much. I know your pain all too well. It took my a long long time go get over my first love And I feel blessed to have loved her for as long as was able to. And yes I grew immensely from it. But lately, 15 years after the fact, I have been thinking quite a bit my first love. And wondering how she is and how her life is etc etc. I hope she is well and remembers me sometimes. I hope you are at least happy in your marriage.

TOS thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I will try and do what you suggest and it will feel great to finally stop living in the past. I have been living there far to long.