I Broke Up With Him In High School. I Still Pay 16 Years Later

I should have never ever broke up with him.  I was stupid and let outside influences break us up.  I miss him everyday day still.  I dream of him.  I hurt him really bad.  My friends confess to me that after I broke up with him he was devistated.  He is Married now,  Working on having children and seems happy.  I am truly happy for him as I do not deserve him.  I never did.  I still dream and long for him though.  Was 16 too young to fall in love?  If I am now 32, why do I still want him?  Aren't we supposed to grow up and change?  I'm married too but it doesn't stop me from wanting my first and what I realize was my only true love. 

Rcandice Rcandice
31-35, F
3 Responses Feb 23, 2010

I feel that your story is my story. The only difference is that we were together for almost three years, I broke his heart and yet he moved on and I did not. It has been 7 years since I have even heard from him but I still think of him everyday.

I understand your pain. I am with someone now who I do love, but it is not in the same way that I love my first. <br />
<br />
NebulaNoxx, if I knew I would be with her again in twenty years from now (which would make it 30 years overall), I would smile everyday until she was mine again. Nothing would make me happier than to hold her once again and have the privilege to wake up to her smile

Stuff happens....wait ....... In my story, we had both been married - to other people - before we managed to get together and he realized he loved me, too. It took over twenty years before we got together ( I was 15 when I fell for him) and we had some wonderful time together before....... Live for now - it's all you have. Stuff happens and you may end up together - without anyone getting hurt - someday yet.