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My High School Boyfriend Found Me On Facebook

It has been more than 25 years since we've had contact.  I've always missed him and wondered about him over the years.  We are both married with children.  I believe he is happily married... but I am not, and have not been for years.  We are on opposite sides of the country.  Recently we began chatting quite often and have realized that we both miss each other very much.  He calls me baby, sweetie and flirts a LOT with me.  Our chats have become sexual also.  I've wanted to tell him that I'm crazy about him and my feelings for him never changed, but I don't want to scare him off or ruin a good thing.  We even spoke on the phone about a month ago.  We talked for over an hour.    Please help, any advice would be appreciated.  I am an emotional wreck.  Can't get him off my mind.  I can't sleep and I'm not eating properly.  The thought of food makes me sick to my stomache.  I know I have to eat so I force myself.   

confusedgirl2 confusedgirl2 41-45, F 8 Responses Mar 10, 2010

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Hi somehow similar feelings am goin through. I am married since last 10 years and have 2 beutiful kids a simple loving life. My girlfriend whome I met in school 20 yrs back and didnot talk to her since last 14 years started calling me since last 2 years. <br />
We were supposed to get married but somehow due to parents it didnot workout. <br />
She was not quite happy with her marriage , with our talks she shared her problems and with my suggestions and guidance within months everything got resolved and she lives a very happy life where everyone in family loves her and she takes care for everyone and relations with all of her family members have become perfect. <br />
Both of us had our first love with each other. <br />
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We know it's wrong to talk and that may create problems in marriage . But somehow the most intense feelings of deep love care and affection for true love always remains in heart.<br />
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Just one word of listening hello is enough. <br />
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Now with everything going smooth in life we have stopped talking . <br />
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She is happy in her own life. And sane I am. Memories do remain . <br />
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Question comes: was it wrong that we talked on phone for 3 yrs. Most of you may say yes. But for me . We know we both improved our relations , lifestyle , learned meditations, helped each other resolve issues, took out all negativity and filled life with positive energies within our own families. <br />
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We have never seen each other since last 13 years , we don't even have photos of each other. So much divinely connected through hearts. <br />
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Just one thing that masters why we were not married it hurts. But everything we have accepted and living beutiful life within our own families. <br />
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R we going to talk again . We have decided twice a year on birthdays of her and mine. Besides praying for eachother and families and everyone in the whole world. <br />
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This is my real story. I don't know what's right , wrong but according to me <br />
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It was great that we talked after gap of 13 years and talked for making our lives more beautiful , resolving issues , learning to be compassionate , meditating , improving relations and developed intellectually and willingly stopped talking without any regret . <br />
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Atleat 2 hearts with true love have right to talk to each other. Life have become short now ... It shouldnot happen that u repend for lifetime to listen one word from your true love when he or she is not there...!

You need to find out how he feels. You never know til you ask ! If he was so happy....he wouldnt be talking to you !

He's probably playing you because something is missing in his marriage. Don't do this, because he has kids and a life with someone else. Don't **** up their lives because you're unhappy.

Here is an update. The food issue has ceased and I'm now eating properly. The only goood thing about that was I lost a few pounds. Sleeping is still an issue and when I do sleep, I have a dream about him that he is standing in front of me and when I reach for him he backs away and disappears. The same dream comes, night after night. <br />
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We have had many chats since I posted this although they were all brief, but none as good as the one we had 2 days ago. Conveniently we both had the day off from work and were both home alone. We talked for over 2 hours. It was fantastic. I told him about my dream and he said that maybe it's because that's how I disappeared from him so long ago. He told me to think happy thoughts about us before I go to sleep and I'll have good dreams. We have a lot in common, share the same feelings, think alike. It's eery. And we agreed that if he had not lived 30 miles away, if we lived closer to each other, we would have been inseparable and would have never parted ways!! I do believe our lives would have taken a different path if that were the case. But, here we are! Anyway, it was a wonderful chat, even did a little fantasy role play at the end! :))

Thank you Misty I don't know what (if anything) could become of this. Like I said, I'm just happy to have his friendship on Facebook! I have a son that would be devastated if anything changed in our lives and he is married with 3 beautiful daughters, so I don't see anything happening anytime soon. I would just like to think that maybe after we are both widowed (not a good thought by any means) that we could be together for the rest of our days. I love him like I've never loved anyone and it hurts very badly. :(

A very touching story indeed, but such a difficult one for both of you. I hope he does want to meet you for the right reasons (to share his love with you) and not only for sexual pleasure. Or are you seeking the same thing too? <br />
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It sounds as though your falling deeply for him and that's understandable, because he WAS your first love! I really do hope you both will eventually meet up when the time is right. That way you will both find out if you what to spend your life with each other. I know what it must be like for you to be stuck in a relationship where you find unhappiness. My only wish for you is that you will find love & happiness in your life one day soon, weather it be with your first love or with another. As long as you will be happy, then there's nothing else I would wish better for you. :) Please, don't let this love for one man ruin your appetite. You need a good boost of clean & positive energy just to clear your mind a little. I don't want you to get HURT, if things don't work out after the meet up! But, on the other hand if they do work out, then I'll be so pleased for you. I'll be watching this space for an update on your progress 'meet up' (If you will be doing one) :):) Lots of Luck and big hugs to you dear1 *smiles* Love & Light ...Misty<br />
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PS: thanks so very much for your comment you left on my story 'I miss my first love' I appreciated with all my heart

Thanks for your words of encouragement. When we spoke on the phone he told me that he didn't know when, but someday, somehow he would find a way to see me. That was most comforting. Given our situation (marriages) I don't expect anything from him. I'm just happy to have his friendship, even if it is only on Facebook. His daughters set him up on it and he said I was the first person he looked up. :)

hey if he loves you then you wont scare him off if love comes your way dont let it slip away no matter what if he does get scared off then he is not worthy of your love at least you will know where you stand i wish i knew where my love of my life is well i know what country and town but still run into a dead end he is not the type to go on facebook he was allways very private but i still looked but no luck good luck to you babara