I've Always Kept Memories Of My First Love Deep In My Heart..

It's been 25 years since we both saw & spoke with each other. All these years of missing him and dreading that one day he would walk right  through that door (but I know its not going to happen). Not a day goes by when I don't think of him. I still shed a tear when I think of all the happiest and enjoyable times we both shared together.

In my wardrobe, is a small box and in that box is a pile of letters, all from him! The posted stamps still clearly show the years between 1981 and 1984. He moved to another part of the country not long after we started dating and he used to write to me almost everyday. I still have these letters kept in a safe place and when I move house, SO do they! I keep a photo of him in the same box as well. It's set nicely in a small brass frame. At times I stare at it and my mind wonders back to the day when I remembered taking it. It's always been my favourite photo of him because in it, he looks to be so peaceful and calm and so very very handsome. I can't remember how many times I've had to wipe all my tears from it

The dreams I have of him come and go. And in every one of them, he doesn't speak. At times he is reaching out for me, with one hand,  but I never seem to reach for it. There have been a couple of times where I have woken and felt tears streaming down my cheeks My deepest emotion of sadness over rides me and I can't seem to shake it off for a few days. Gosh! I really do miss him so very much and I can't wait too see him. He was the most stunning person I have ever met in my whole life and no one will ever take his place in my heart.

Sadly, he passed away in a terrible working accident, at 1.05pm on 16th May 1985. And to this day, he is never to far from my mind, heart and soul. I will always love him and treasure our memories forever after!

mistyluvstui mistyluvstui
46-50, F
5 Responses Mar 13, 2010

ye mere saath hua hai ki jisse maine pyar kiya ussne mughe nahi samhga, mere pyar ko nahi samgha,,,,,,, mughe harr baar dhoka diya <br />
uss insaan se door hone ka dard mai samaj skti hu jisko aapne aapni zindgi maana ho .................... kyuki isi dard ko mai jhel rahi hu..........u r very lucky that he use to luv u so much par mere pyar ne mughe pyar ke naam par dhoka diya hai..............

This is such a sad story. I am so sorry about his untimely passing. My heart is breaking for you.

misty i got goose pimples when i read your story it was as if i was in your shoes i am still looking for my first love and i am so scared that he may also be dead because he has vanished from the face of this earth .our situations are different but it still boils down to the same situation we love someone special that we cant reach out to i understand 100 percent where you cming from. i never had closure thats the hardest thing for me i even use his surname as my username.keep strong and god bless. i believe that if your love is so strong you will meet him on the other side regards babara username gobran

Thank you both very much for your kind comments. I know that one day I will overcome my grief and move on. After 25 years of it, it kind of gets to you in one way or another. I guess I have to learn how to let go so I can (at least) give that100% of my love to the people I adore and care about in my life right now! :) Hugs back @ u both :)

I give you all the condolences (it sounded like the right word) and hugs and comfort in the world. I miss mine too, but not nearly for the same reason. I hope whoever you love now will make it all better, or that you find someone who will :)