Is It Worth It?

Almost every time I am behind the wheel I think about just pulling into the guard rail, or going over that bridge... I tell myself the only reason I hesitate is because it's not my car and I don't want to leave someone else with that mess. Why do I really stop? So often I just want to quit and stop trying. I have tried to quit so many times and I have come so close before but then at the last minute I change my mind and stress for days on end to catch my life back up to where it "should" be. I used to want so much out of life... Joy, happiness, children, a partner, to be a teacher. I just feel so alone, like I can not handle anything and do not deserve more than what I have. Today I have a choice ahead of me, I am wondering if I am going to rationalize again, finally give up or give in and stress once again up until the last second?
Sarahlmh Sarahlmh
22-25, F
1 Response Dec 11, 2012

I do the same thing. You make excuses to yourself as to why you dont. Maybe one way to look at it is that you have something to live for but your not sure what yet. Gotta keep trying. Its hard to go on but take a deep breath and just take one step at a time.