Bromance Hurts

I met my best friend in sophomore year of high school...after a few months, we were inseparable. We went everywhere together, mostly to malls. It was really the summer of 2005 when our friendship became what it was, we were working together for a summer program at our school. After that we became like brothers...we were brothers. There was no question about it with us, blood did not matter, we were brothers. We always had each others backs. I can't tell you how many times I stopped that boy from hurting himself over some damn girl that wouldn't bother to give him a shot. Mike (not his real name) had a good heart, it was a shame no one wanted to open their eyes and see that. We graduated together class of 07; we were both so excited to be out of school.

We started hanging more now that school was over. He was always over my house or the other way around or we were at the mall or off getting into some sort of trouble. When his step-dad randomly left his mother completely out of nowhere, I was the one he turned to, a complete train wreck...the man had raised him, so it really tore him up about it...that's about the time Mike started getting into some trouble in life. Going to parties with his cousins, sometimes never answering his phone for anybody....he'd drink his *** off and sometimes pop pills with whoever and then sleep the entire next day ignoring phone calls even from his own mother. We still remained brothers though and I was always watching out for him trying to keep his head above the water.

I describe summer of 2009 to be the end of my childhood....summer 09 was incredible. We hung out with all of our friends that summer, were always at the mall, went to the weekly concerts down the park every week and spent the entire night almost every night hanging out in the backyard just talking all night. That was the end though. In November 09, my grandmother died of sudden broke all of our hearts, even Mike's. He cried just as I did...he loved her and she loved him. After that things seemed to be back to normal for the most part, we were still inseparable and if anything he was there for me even more because he knew how badly it hurt me. My girlfriend started having trouble staying with me in the start of 2010. I couldn't find a job, I'd been unemployed a few months.

All of her friends were bad mouthing me and she was agreeing with everything. We came close to breaking up...Mike had my back though. We eventually worked things out and everything, but it was his friendship that helped me keep my sanity while I tried to work things out with her...if it hadn't been for him I wouldn't have made it.

In June of that year, 2010, Mike went down to North Carolina to see his god mother like he did every summer. He was coming back mid-July to go with my family and me down the shore then supposedly going back to NC to help his god mother move and he'd be back after that in October 2010. I guess I knew in the back of my mind something didn't seem right, but I was the one who kept reassuring everyone else that he was coming back although no one but me believed him. I found out in September it was a load of crap....he wasn't coming back. But that's not what infuriated's that he lied about it, that he couldn't just tell me. If he had just said it, "Dude, I'm in some trouble. My mom want's me to stay out here and get my **** together," I would have given my best wish's to him.
I needed to cool down...I COULD have cooled down to, but it created conflict between his psychotic god mother and I. She was constantly making me and everyone in Philly seem like criminals, like we were bad for Mike, like we were going to ruin his life...I believe she even straight up said that once. We drifted apart...eventually the arguments died down some but Mike and I just weren't as close anymore. And if you think he was bad in Philly, now he was drinking and smoking pot while he was out in NC. His life was so much better.

January 2011, his god mother succeeded in pulling us thing I knew he was on facebook trash talking me when I had not even done anything wrong, she was saying **** to and he was letting her. After everything I had done for him they were bad mouthing not just me but me and my family as family took him off the streets numerous times and fed him and put a roof over his head and did not argue about him staying when he needed a place to go. And now he was letting her talk trash on us.

We made contact in May of 2011 and he apologized...we were friends for literally one week before she found out about it and ended it. Some things were said and it's pretty clear that we'll never be friends again. I found out in October 2011 he was saying that I was the bad guy, that I was the one who had done wrong to him.

It's been two years....I've done my best to shake it off and it still hurts really bad. For the most part, I've made a recovery but I still think about him a lot, I still see things that MAKE me think about him. I even dream from time to time that he comes back to Philly and we end up becoming friends again...but I know that will never really happen. I don't know why he lied...I don't know why we're not friends anymore...but I know my best friend broke my heart and I've never been the same since.

Mike use to say, "You can have all the best friends you ever want, but you only ever have one bro." He was right...I don't feel nearly as close to anyone in my life as I use to feel with him. Most of my friends don't even feel legit to me...they feel fake sometimes. Things will never be the same...I'll never let someone get that close to me again.
Ventus1989 Ventus1989
22-25, M
1 Response Jan 23, 2013

i am deeply saddened by your story. I too lost my best friend. I did almost the same as what you did. I was there for him when he was in deep trouble, took him in our house when everything was falling apart for him. I made a lot of sacrifices but still that wasn't enough. Things got out of hand and we fell apart. I also told myself I'll never let someone get that close to me again. But i was wrong. It took me years to heal and move on but I am now happy 'cause i'm blessed with two of the most awesome brothers in the world. We're not related by blood. We dont even live in the same country but that does not hinder the strongest of bond. I love my brothers. I hope you too will be able to move on and find peace.