Responsible (m)

In 1996 I got my first internet ready computer.  I remember it being such a big deal at the time.  A gateway.  It came in the cow box!  It took me weeks to get connected.  Dial up, phone lines, modems, but once I was finally connected I sat back and said "now what?

I remember one day eating a healthy choice frozen dinner, and looking on the back of the box and noticing they had a website.  I was impressed, no one did at that time.  I typed in the url carefully and came to a very boring website that had a chat room.  I was an instant addict!

It was in that chat room that I met my friend Danny.  He logged in under the name 'responsible (m)" he lived in my state and had one goal in find a girlfriend and get married.

Danny and I became instant friends.  We shared secrets, long conversations, I was inbetween marriages at the time and even tho there was no romantic interest on my part, I always knew that danny was hopeful something would happen between us.

Years went by, and I met my soon to be exhusband and Danny went his way also.  We kept in touch.  I remember talking with him around Christmas '98 and he was doing well.  He'd met a girl who he was living with (she was jealous of me so I kept my distance)  he sounded so happy. always..time flew by.  Days turned into months without a word. In May of '99 I received a phone call from the girlfriend.  She was crying.  Danny had died.  Apparently he had been diagnosed with cancer in the fall, but was told by his doctors that he would be fine.  He never mentioned it during the xmas phone call.  He didn't want to worry me. weekend in may he took a turn for the worst and died at home with his parents by his side.  A few months earlier he'd lost his beloved dog Noah...and sometimes I think he just could't live without him. 

Danny was 34 when he died.  Way too young to leave. 

He was one of those people you could easily talk with.  Never judging.  Always willing to toss in humor to ease you through an uncomfortable moment.  He was the person I called at 2 am when I couldn't sleep.

I remember other people we chatted with during that time.  Names such as Observer, Tailgater, Chuck, but Responsible (M)...he was the best.


fairytalemist fairytalemist
41-45, F
5 Responses Feb 27, 2009

Me to but I moved away from her

What a touching story....<br />
Absolutely beautiful...

That was a very touching speaks to many, becuase if we allow people into our lives, we all get to meet someone like a Danny, I'm sorry for you loss and that you miss your friend, I bet Danny held you in very high regard.....I'm sure that you made Danny feel special....and it sounds like he was......I hope you think of Danny often, when you do I am sure he is aware, .....I will never look at a healthy choice product and not think of you and Danny......... and thank you for sharing such a touching story

I'm sorry for your loss. I can tell from the tone of your story that it still hurts. I think any of us that are a bit older, that have survived, have a story of loss to tell.<br />
A little secret of mine. Every New Years Eve, just after midnight, I find a moment to slip outside and feel the cold crisp winter air. To look at the stars. And I sing. Not loud but softly and with love, Auld Lang Syne. I sing and I remember, I embrace with my heart the dear friends and loved ones that are gone. I just about always end up in tears by the time I finish. But I sing, every year, to remember and honor them all. Then I brush the tears aside, and go back in the house to my life today. I don't know why I just told everyone that. Maybe it's hokey. But it means something to me.

thats very cool that you were able to form a real friendship with danny. most people just chat and live in an internet world without making real connections. i'm sorry to hear about his early death, but at least you have the memories of wonderful conversations.