The Bastard Is Gone

His profile has been deleted. And after more than two weeks, I admit now that I've been missing him. I was a little surprise since we weren't friends for very long, but then, I always had fun with him. But again, I was surprise to have found a friend in him in the first place. I felt nothing but jealousy towards him over his special friendship with someone I care about deeply. I have bothered him many times about her, sent him some stupid drunken notes but he was always as calm and collected as ever. When she threatened to delete and block me if I didn't stop bothering him, that's when I realized that it was what it was and that to try to come between them is the same as pushing her away from me. I understand then how much they meant to each other and it was made clear to me what they are to one another and that there was nothing for me to be jealous of. They have a beautiful relationship, a true friendship. Something that you don't find often in a place such as this.

So, I decided to turn things around, be the good guy, and offered the hand of friendship to him and he accepted it. That was the start of our friendship. Surprisingly, it didn't take long at all for me and him to see that we were very much alike and we enjoyed each other's company, and before long, becoming our own partners in crime. We had a mutual friend that we both cherish and watch over and the three of us grew closer together. I spent more time with her while having a lot fun with him. Probably with her watching and laughing at us behind our backs like two little boys amusing ourselves with things that we found on here.

............and then he disappeared. With very little warning and not enough time to say goodbye. There's only one person in the entire EP community who knows what happened to him but she's not saying much, and I don't blame her for protecting his privacy, as I know he did many many times for her.

My friend, XR4rider, my wingman, wherever you are, whatever happened to you, I miss you, man. Hope to see you again someday. And if for some reasons, this story manage to make its way to you and you get to read it, I just want you to know that if you ever want to stop by and check in, my door is always open for you, if you know what I mean. I won't change the code.

Your little friend and I miss you here. I hope you are well.

highmoon highmoon
41-45, M
11 Responses Sep 8, 2009

Great story.<br />
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I live with constant albeit latent fear that one of the people in my circle will on day simply disappear and never to be heard from again.<br />
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So far, none of them did anything like that but I can imagine what it could be like.

LOL......I'm glad you did!<br />
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And he was.....among other things that I would not mention here. But you already know......even better than I do. If anyone knows his deepest and darkest secrets, it would be you.

I will. He would appreciate it.<br />
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And I already told him that you called him a bastard.

Whatever it was, I wish him the best. I hope he is doing well. Kitten, please give him my regards the next time you speak with him.

You're Welcome, Justice, anytime!<br />
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Highmoon, Yes, some of us know the reasons he deleted his account back in April before he was Xr4. It's the same reason now but more. He WAS planning on doing it gradually but something happened and he had to abruptly delete his account right there and then, and not in the way that he planned to do it, either. And that's what made me sad.

What I don't understand is that he said he would do it slowly. Spend less and less time on here and then delete but it wasn't even a week. We weren't friends yet the last time he deleted his account, so when he came back as Xr4, I never thought about asking him why he left and so I never know his reasons the way some of you do.

I don't think so, Highmoon. I don't think he's coming back again. Not this time. And I would not encourage him to come back, either. As sad as it is not to have him here, and as much as I want him to be with us, I want what's best for him even more.<br />
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Justice, I'm afraid you would find that he also had deleted his gmail account.

Thanks for leaving your comments, Metal & Justice. I hope he gets to read this post and all its comments and see that we all miss him. Kitten, any chance that he might be coming back again someday?

That's a nice story, Highmoon. It has an unpleasant beginning, but it has a happy ending. And then, a sad ending. Thank you for writting it. He would have liked to know that your friendships with him meant something to you.<br />
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Ladylove, you are not to blame here. I can assure you that much. As Highmoon said before, it was personal, and Xr4 did not leave because of anyone on here. If he wanted to stay and if he could stay, as bad as whatever it was you have said to him, it wouldn't have been enough to drive him to push the delete button. He would have handled it in a much different way. Chances are, it didn't even get him. If you could ask him now, he probably would not even remember a word you said to him. So, cheer up! You are fine!<br />
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I miss him, too. It's not the same without him here.

I miss him, too. No idea what happened. Come back, man.

Lady, I think it's safe to say that you are not to blame, so please don't beat yourself up. As far as I know, the reason he left was personal and it wasn't caused by anyone on here.