Why Did You Both Have To Go?

Last year i lost my grandad to level 4 lung cancer. I couldn't beleive my eyes when i found out again that i was going to loose another member of the family, to cancer. 10 years before i lost my other grandad, I was only 6, and to young to understand what was going on.

i found out my grandad had cancer, 3 weeks 6 days before he passed away. I was devastated. I knew something was up, but i didn't know what it was, couldn't put my finger around it, until my mum told me.

I remember that he had just got his first chemo,things didn't look to good but I knew that there was still hope.

That Friday he was rushed to hospital not being able to breathe, i Remember my sister coming in crying saying grandad's finding it hard to breathe. I told her that everything was going to be okay.

My mum told me that if I wanted I could go and see him at the hospital because he had been asking for me. I knew seeing him would help me understand what he was going through, so I went and saw him. I broke down into tears,but I was strong at the same time. I didn't know what to do. So I held his hand and sort of spoke to him, telling him that I had started 6th year and that everything was going all good at school.

on the 23 August 2012, i lost my grandad to cancer. I didn't know that he had passed away until my mum came home from the hospital and i had came home from school. She asked me to turn off the t.v and i did so.

She said i have some news to tell you, at this point i was thinking that my grandad had gotten better and was at home.

She said, your grandad is up in heaven,by this point i though she was just joking. But she wasn't.

I remember saying NO not again,i begged her to tell me the honest truth and she just cried and i knew that i wasn't going to see him again until my day came.

the time Tuesday 28th august came along I was told that I could go and see him in his coffin just so I could say my last goodbye. I remember being sent home from school, physically sick. However, I still went and saw him.

I felt better afterwards known that I had said goodbye and I finally understood the concept of cancer. known this I know I will never be ready to loose a family member. But I know what is to be expected at funerals.

I miss them both so much and I know they aren't that far away, infact they are closer than what you think. They are in my heart. Yeah there will always be a hole in my heart and I know it will never heal but known that they are beside me and watching over me makes me feel better. Until that day comes where we all meet again I will make yous both proud.

Love and miss yous both..

R.I.P always remembered but never forgotten

An Ep User An EP User
Jan 23, 2013