If Anything, He's My Hero

I just lost my grandfather. He died in late August this year. I was in a college orientation that day. That morning a phone call came and said he's in a very critical condition. I, believe that God is omnipotent, prayed all day that He will create a miracle and save him. In my college's orientation, we're supposed to be treated harshly by the seniors. Whatever they do to me, I didn't cry. But the thought that my grandfather might die broke me into tears. I spent the day praying and hoping that God will say yes to my prayer. But God's plan is different, He took my grandfather that day at 06.30 AM. When I got home and knew that, my world was falling apart. I was in a complete denial.
My grandfather was a very healthy man, it surprised us that he passed away so fast. My parents don't have much time for me, so he's the one who take me wherever I need to go. He's always reading the newspaper at my porch every morning. He took care of me and my sister, helped us when nobody care, lifted us up when people look down on us, a lot of things that just a very few people would do for you. When he was sick, I promised him that I would be a great neurologist/neurosurgeon so I'll be the one who treat him if he's ever getting sick again. I asked God to give him 5 years, so he can see me graduate. I was desperate and asked God, "Please God, You did resurrect dead people, please bring my grandfather back too." But God said no too. When he died, I was kind of wanting to resign from medschool because him, the reason of me wanting to be a doctor, has gone. But God helped me to survive and remind me that there are others who want to see me becoming a doctor.
Some have moved on, but I haven't. I'm still crying sometimes, these days even more because I'm going through a lot of difficulties right now. I told myself to stay strong and graduate from medschool with perfect GPA. But man, isn't it hard? The reason for me to strive has gone.... I can't say how much I wanted to see him when I come back home. I know he's happy there in heaven, but I just can't stop crying.
neurolady neurolady
18-21, F
Sep 13, 2012