It's the happiest moments in my life.


First you are recovering very good from your open heart surgery.  You are making very good process according to the doctor.  For the first time in my life you actually like the person i'm dating, well at least from the ones you've met.  I'm to marry soon and you have that sparkle in your eye everytime I say to you how much i'm in love.  A few days have gone by, you are not feeling good, what happened?  The open heart surgery went according to plan.  Surprisingly for the doctors because of your age, but not everything was ok.  They discovered that something unexpected happened.  While you were being operated somehow you got an intestinal infection.  Doctors didn't expect this, and they tried to operate again, but your body was still recovering from the first surgery and it was very dangerous to do another.  You started loosing a lot of weight, because you couldn't eat much.  As I see your face, the only thing that's left is that smile that always would make me feel better, that smile that told me that everything was going to be ok.  I know it wasn't, you knew the same but for some reason you didn't want me to worry.  You promised me you would be there on my wedding, by this time you were already in a hospice.  We had arranged to pay for an ambulance for you to be there if the hospice approved.  They had to make sure you were ok.  My family was all upset at me, we didn't expect this to happen and they wanted to cancel my wedding plans, I was ready to do so for you, but you didn't want to.  With that smile on your face you said to get married, be happy not to mind them as they are going through withdrawal.  You and I have spent a lot of time together.  You know I gave you my all, I don't feel any remorse, and you said they felt guilty because when it really mattered they weren't there for you.  Somehow you knew i was going to be happy.  It was a bittersweet experience for me, I was excited on one end that I was to marry, and on the other end I didn't want  you to leave. 


February 15, 3:00 am.  (2 days before my wedding)My cousin called me to get over there as soon as possible, your heart is slowing down.  I hurried, as fast as I could get up.  I went alone, it felt like the longest drive in my life.  When I got there, you were already gone!, your smile had disappeared from your face and i couldn't feel your presence in the room.  It felt empty even though your body was there.  We said our goodbyes even though you were already gone.  I couldn't stop my tears from rolling down my face.  I said goodbye, and now that you are gone, my life completely changed in two ways.  Married and without you.


I miss you!

Th3D0ct0r Th3D0ct0r
3 Responses Feb 11, 2010

aww my thoughts are with you as well.

Mine passed away almost 3 years ago now this February 14th...

my thoughts are with you I lost my grandad 2 years ago i still miss him dearly