I Miss Her So Very Much

My grandma died when I was 19. I didn't have much emotion at that time. She died of old age i think. I was so happy that Diabetes did not kill her. I felt she had won something and made it through the race! she was my favorite person in the whole entire world!!! She let me explore, get hurt, investigate and just be me!! She let me smoke cigarettes when I was six. I found them , a whole pack in the road. She had done my dad the same way and neither one of us smoke today. My family was so very strict. she was my freedom. I sat on the top of her fridge and watched her cook. If my parents knew that they would ground me TODAY and I'm 46 now. I like to draw. I remember drawing a duck and waded it up. She asked me what it was and i told her I was mad as i could not draw a duck. She said it was the best duck ever and framed it. It was all waded up. she hung up all of my artwork. My parents did not hand things in their home, except the ornaments that stayed there the whole19 years I was there. I saw my babysitters daughter in law breastfeed her baby and she told me about it when I was 3. I went to grandmas and took off my shirt and fed my teddy bear. My sister yelled OHHHH!!! I'm gonna tell Mama and Daddy!!! my grandma said, NO YOU ARE NOT !!! She is being a good mother and feeding her bear!!! I have 5 children, all breastfed except my last one who is 3. She was premature. My grandma was my heart. I have had dreams about her old house and address. I found it on Google Earth. I plan to get a tattoo of a big 309, as she lived at 309 west gibbs street and inside the letters a picture of her house. Maybe someday if I ever ever go back home I will buy that house.
Terrydarlene Terrydarlene
46-50, F
1 Response Apr 15, 2012

For me it was my Grandpa. He taught me to hunt and fish on the farm he had grown up on and the family had homesteaded in 1820 in S.W. MO. I grew up in a town of 500 where it was safe and it seemed like everyone was some relative. I used to go on rides with my Grandma and Grandpa and they would tell me stories that went with each house or farm we passed or how a great great.... grandfather had been scalped at the mill. My great grandmother was Shawnee. Grandparents be a most special gift to a grandchild.

I pray I too will be that special to my grandchildren. It's awesome to have memories of thier stories to keep forever.