What Can I Say.

He was probably the gentlest, most loving person I've ever known. I know most people say this about their grandparents, but I can honestly say that I don't know anybody who knew him who didn't love him and respect him. Something about his presence made you immediately feel respect for him. Which I don't really understand since he was the least physically or personally imposing person you can imagine. He was a skinny, softspoken bald man with thick glasses, He always seemed so vulnerable to me.

I don't like to write glowing eulogies with nothing but flattery. I know that he suffered from depression and loneliness often. I think that his biggest fault was that he had a hard time showing his feelings or talking about them. Not to his children or grandchildren. I never saw him angry. He had low self-esteem. He would almost never accept praise or credit for something he'd done. he would even be rude about it.

I'll never forget. His funeral was on an early summer day. Sunny and warm and beautiful, Behind the cemetery there are tall foothills in the distance. They're covered with wild grasses and short gnarly oaks. For a long time I sat and watched the wind blow through the grasses in slow, undulating, silver ripples. It seemed to say that the past and the future are all the same. A person never completely exists on earth and never completely disappears. Then I cried a little to myself. I felt a great sense of both sadness, but also peace and acceptance.
26-30, M
Apr 20, 2012