I Will Never Stop Missing Them

I think of two people that helped make me who I am today, everyday. This couple met and got married during WW2, and they are my Gram & Pop. Or Grammie & Pop Pop. I need their guidance & their strength right now, but they are no longer here on Earth. They taught me everything that I know about family, unconditional love & my love of the outdoors. I would give anything to have the chance to tell my Gram that I live her and how thankful I am for having her as my Gram. I had the opportunity to tell my Pop that I loved him before he died. In fact, he touched my pregnant belly and told me to take good care of our baby. When he passed away, that morning the front door to our home blew open & Eric Clapton's song, Tears In Heaven came on the radio. I know that was him coming to say goodbye. I feel so blessed to have had that experience. When my Gram passed, I had not talked to her in a long time. I was guilty because I had borrowed money & hadn't even Reyes to pay her back
I was starting my own business & working so hard, I didn't think about the big picture
I was consumes in this bubble called my life. My mom told me that she worded about me all the time & wondered where I was and how I was doing. Well she died not knowing. I will always feel so bad about that. I felt horrible about that and not telling her how much I love her.
My life with my mom was very chaotic. Always changing and not very stable. She's an alcoholic with man Issues. Marrying 4 times & workig to excess. I was a latch key kid at 4th grade, with strange babysitters all sumer long. I was often alone nd would fend for myself. My grandparents always made me feel loved and safe, something that my mom wasn't able to express. I rarely saw my dad, but that was okay too. My Pop was all the dad I could ever ask for.
There is so much more I'd like to explain, but my main reason for writing this is because right noe, today, I feel like a small girl who has lost her way in life. I need my grandparents. They are the people that I trust to be honest & true. I actually listen to them.
I have no family that I communicate with. I feel very alone.
I hope that its true that I will see them again one day. I'm not a religious person, but I'd there is a God, I'm
certain that he/she will understand my need to hear them tell me that they're proud of me & that I'm doing okay.
I wrote this on my phone, so please excuses any bad grammar. I also imagine that it mitt sound a little corny, but its from my heart
rottenrobi rottenrobi
46-50, F
2 Responses May 10, 2012

Wow. I never expected to receive such an amazing reply! Thank you! I wish you could do a reading as well. I have had readings done before & I even consulted a woman who channeled the entity Michael. I am spiritual. Reading that my grandparents are with me gives me such a peace of mind. I believe this, but somehow, I couldn't imagine they were with me. I just miss them. I would give up so much for just he smallest amount of time with them. <br />
Thank you. You have made a difference in my life today. I truly mean that!

Yeas you can have NO doubt in your heart. That WAS your grandfather opening that door & playing that song!<br />
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Take that money you owed her. & donate it to her favorite charity or yours or put it back in your business! Do something with it that would make her proud:)<br />
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You need some understanding about the afterlife. There is one! They know all these things that you are feeling, I'm fact I wish I could do a reading for you! It would ease your mind about alot. Also, death is NOT an end. It is their new beginning and you will be with them all when you pass!<br />
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You are NOT alone, they are with you. Loving you, helping you when they can. You should tell your mother you forgive her. Even if you're not fully ready when a person does that it changed things. Forgiveness is not a one time thing, it is a process. So when you say the words, out loud, alone with her (hold something of hers that smells like her, or put on one of her rings or hold your favorite picture- I see that one in my mind the strongest-the picture-and also the sweater or shirt of hers). Hold them tight and tell her you forgive her and magically the process begins!<br />
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Very important: when those negative thoughts approach immediately think of something good! Don't allow those thoughts to take control, YOU have the control!<br />
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You're never alone, I'm here & their here:)

There may be typos in mine also didn't do spell check! Sorry:(

I have to say things when I "feel or sense" them.

They are there now. I get a stronger sense from your grandfather. You'reother holds back perhaps because of guilt? Perhaps she's afraid you'll reject her presence. Had to let you know that. If you have an opportunity now, talk with your grandfather. When we talk to them it's very important that we listen! Be careful at the same time because this is a time a bad entity can play with your thoughts but deep down you know what's true &amp; what's not. Remember that, bad entities will try &amp; confuse you as well as put thoughts in your head like, this is stupid or this is fake, this doesn't work, was that really my grand dad? Listen to YOUR voice when you do this. It's meditation and whenever you meditate it's a good idea to pray first for protection.

Just a thought I had:)