Missing Him So Very Very Much

My husband died in February this year, we met when we were very young, have two gorgeous girls and now my life is in ruins. He was such a good man, together for over 30 years. He fought and fought to stay alive for me and the girls, he went through so much horrible, painful treatment which just made him feel so sick and tired. If I knew then what I know now, no way would I let him have that terrible treatment. He didn't want to talk about dying, he refused to talk about it until he was told he wasn't going to live many more days. When you are so close, apart from your immediate family, nobody and nothing else matters. Now I just feed desolate, I cry all the time, my heart feels like it will burst sometimes. I daren't cry in front of our youngest daughter as she goes very withdrawn. Our elder daughter just tells me not to think about things that remind me of him - I miss him so very very much.
jlm1407 jlm1407
4 Responses Sep 9, 2012

I lost my beautiful husband in Oct 2012, to West Nile. I completely feel your pain. He also fought so hard and I did everything I could to help him fight. That virus is evil... God took him much later than doctors expected him to live. I didn't want to let him go and he didn't want to go. God gave him the ultimate healing and took him home. Left me so alone. I lost so much weight during his fight...like you said nothing else mattered, even the nurses had to force me to eat cause all I cared about was to bring him back to life.... I still bust out crying, I miss him. I am not mad at God anymore, but it still hurts. Know that is normal to miss such precious blessing we were fortunate to have, but please, don't give up on God. He loves us very much, even when we don't agree with his decisions for our earthly lives. He wants to be number 1 in our lives. God bless you and keep you. Be strong , crying out to God, stay in his presence.

Omg I am going through the same thing. I lost my Bill on 12/27/12...I have family and many friends but the pain is unbearable. My kids 19 and 25 are also devastated. we were together 27 years. Im so lost without him. He suffered so much the last few months I mean really bad and I know he is in peace now but I miss him so much. I watched him pass away and I will never forget that. I see it many times a day and my heart is broken. he was a great man, my best friend a fantastic husband and a wonderful father. I guess there are many people in our shoe but your story hit home...Take care :)

My heart goes out to you and your girls. I know people probably tell you all the time that it will get better. It's just so very unfair. Sending you love and light.

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I will be your friend, if you need someone to talk to. I know someone who can help you.